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Showing posts from November, 2008

Pop-in (or out) for Thankgsiving!

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Because our tires needed to be changed, the weather was not ideal for travel and because we were not too excited about traveling a total of 6 hours on Thanksgiving day, we begged my aunt Jodi and uncle Dave if we could crash their Thanksgiving feast which was a mere 1 hour distance from our house.  I don't know how, and have little true desire to learn, to cook a turkey, it therefore was a great relief knowing that this Thanksgiving wouldn't be that moment.  There's something so intimidating about knowing that you have to put your hand up the backside of the...well, you know, to get that "extra" stuff out of the turkey before you can cook it (one should really have at least one licensed gastroenterologist in the family).  I didn't know that people ate gizzards until I saw it on the title of a shop in Michigan titled "Fish and Gizzards."  I really don't know if I could be one of those people who so strictly follow that code of ethics which goes &…

Ask "The Doctor"

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Dear The Doctor,My body is shaking and my nerves are shot as I finally sit down in front of this computer to express my current feelings. The symptoms started at around 4:00 this afternoon, shortly after my kids got home. I don't know if it's something they brought home with them, but it seems to have intensified with every hour. I just put my kids in bed and it is now 8:02 and the feeling of shakiness is starting to ebb. My heart rate has slowed down, I've stopped pulling out my hair, I've put the last cookie back, I've swallowed so my throat doesn't hurt from the over exertion of my vocal chords, my neck has finally popped, and I can finally sit and undue the top button of my ever shrinking jeans, ahhhh... What do you think is wrong with me? Is there a cure? I don't know if I can go on like this for much longer! Help!Sincerely,Mrs. ShakeyDear Mrs. ShakeyYou have what is, in the world of pseudo-psychology, commonly known as Bonkerism. See definiti…

I t'ought I t'aw a Twighty Tat! I did, I did!

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With all the giddiness that I thought only possessed by 13 year old girls, I went to see the movie Twilight.  My mom and I met Erin and several of her friends at the theater Saturday morning.  The theater was packed with women and only 12 men, one of which sat by me with his wife.  Having read the book several times, I had certain expectations that I knew could not be completely met in 2 hours (Dear Ms. Hardwick, I would gladly sit for 6 hours in order to get every tidbit of the book as long as you give me a couple of potty breaks).  When you've read the book and then you see it on film it's hard not to constantly compare the two.  I find that I get distracted and am thinking too hard and am not sure if I'm getting the full effect intended by the movie makers.   So, as a movie I was curious what a non reader of the book thought.  Thankfully, that man I was sitting next to was such a subject.  I asked and he said in his lowest voice, "I thought it was great.  I really …

Room Service, please.

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My sister, Erin, and I were having a strange conversation which started by voicing that often recurring thought that I might be crazy. I've wondered this and have thought, well maybe everyone is just humoring me and telling me I'm not crazy when I really am. So sometimes I'll say, "I'm going crazy..." then I'll take a quick sideways glance toward the listener to see if they're shaking their head's up and down or side to side. I never seem to catch either action which makes me also doubt my vision. So, anyway, this time she chose the path of empathy and said that she too was going crazy and then we toyed over the idea of becoming room mates some day in an institution for the mentally insane. What do you see Rorschach? Swatches of Thumbprints?I took these ideas a step further, in the usual pattern of my sometimes conscious dreamlike vocalized thoughts, to wonder if perhaps Erin and I might someday be room mates in an in-mates kind of setting.…

I Love Lucy!

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Erin and I paid a visit to our newest niece while Chris watched her 4 girls and our 3 boys, 7 children under the age of 6, yikes! But, thank you my love for giving us the time to see this adorable little girl.I made her cry, somehow and found that moment to be the opportune time to hand her back to her dad and take some pictures. Lucy's mom wouldn't let me take any pictures of herself and I had the feeling that I'd end up with a fork in my eye if I tried.Aunt Erin has the magic to stop crying babies mid tear and put them right back to sleep.

The Zoo Keeper and Mr. Hyde(s)

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I've been using the "big voice" way too much lately which is why this weekend's trip was so necessary.  I believe my mind is devoid of the ability to think of exciting things to do in this town.  Maybe my effort muscle has been pulled but when it comes to thinking of activities for my boys my brain starts to hurt.  So, here we are, left with 3 bored kids + 1 dull mommy = 4 people in need of evacuation, not forgetting the sanity saving variable called Chris.  Off we went to St. George for a 2 day break and to allow the "big voice" to recover from overuse.  Once we got there we had a wonderful time seeing most of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, my dad, Max (the dog) and Tuna (the cat).  We had a great time hiking in Snow Canyon while gathering rocks, looking for dinosaur bones and foot prints, finding the sources of all that lava rock, talking, laughing, finding proper anatomy hiding bushes and making sand angels (I would guess that every culture has…

Sleepless in Sin-eattle

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I can't sleep anymore so I'm up early with nothing to do but blog. Isaac has climbed in bed with me and had to settle right in the middle of the bed, forcing me to sleep on my side. He's a funny kid. When he starts to wake a little he'll reach over and start playing with your face until you tell him to go back to sleep. The other reason I'm up is because I had a sudden feeling of guilt remembering that I accidentally emailed several people the wrong link to a very funny video clip. The problem was when I copied the link it turned out to be the clip that played after it on this particular site which was filthy and now I've sent all my wonderful friends some material that will singe all their ear hairs and burn the retina in their eyes. The original and hilarious link was one I got from my friend Melisa's blog which is where I should have copied it but didn't. Now I probably have friends who will never speak to me again or at least open my most lik…

"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." William Shakespeare

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"Stolen kisses require an accomplice.""Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."  ~Albert EinsteinEvening session in Dr. MinivanReed:  When you get married you kiss?  And then you can hug? Mommy:  Yep. (keep the answers simple)Douglas:  Well, I'm going to be doing a lot of kissing in my life.I fear I have the 6 year old version of Casanova reincarnated in my son Douglas.  Having simultaneously had 3 girlfriends in Kindergarten and now at least one that I know of, I can hardly wait till he discovers that girls are plagued with cooties.  Fortunately, it's usually the girls decreeing him their's and the affection is always quite innocently displayed in chasing each other and giving hugs.Reed asked me what cooties were after I told him to cover his mouth the next time he sneezed in my direction.  It was kind of hard to say as the picture of those cute plastic bugs popped into my head.I…

Pyrus calleryana

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Since posting the previous post, my curiosity got the better of me and I had to look up the flowering and de-flowering (there is no connotation to that last word other than the innocent patterns displayed by natures wondrous ways) habits of the Flowering pear tree and learned that this tree blooms in the Spring and the Fall.

Some last minute pollinating

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So..uh...let's look at the calendar, hmmm..it's November 10th.  Yes, I believe it's still Autumn and I've noticed that a lot of my trees are now without leaves and are hunkering down for the upcoming winter storms.  So, what the heck is my flowering pear tree thinking?!  I have 4 of these trees and this one particular tree seems to think it's Spring.  I'm not a tree expert, though I do believe I have some understanding when it comes to the changing of seasons, but this does seem to be so last season to me.  Maybe this guy's just up for some last minute pollinating, I don't know, but I guess it's it's own business and I'll have to leave him to it, just weird.

May the Magic Thumb be with you!

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The dryer repairman came today, not between 1 and 5 but, much to my great delight, at 11:00.  And just as I suspected, a repairman with access to things we mortals cannot attain, he was in possession of a magic thumb.  I will not tell you how simple the repair was because to reveal it would be a great embarrassment and would forever doom me to that class of people unable to plug in something so simple as a hair dryer.  Truly, it wasn't that simple, but that magic thumb ought to be referred to the "trouble shooting" department at GE when they decide to rewrite the manual.   Since his repair took all of 2 seconds, I referred him to the maintenance of the washing machine which, for a good while now has smelled of some living organism akin to the one eyed water creature on the planet Dagobah in Star Wars:  The Empire Strikes Back.  After retrieving 5 pennies, a screw, 2 bobby pins, and some other mucky looking stuff, he flushed the whole thing with some sort of washing machi…

I'm related to Super Erin!

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What does it mean when your dryer stops working with a load of wet laundry in it? Or when the car you wish to use to take those wet cloths to the laundromat in won't start?  Or when the Internet decides not to connect? Or when your 3 year old finds paper to be very appetizing but in the way tobacco is consumed with chews and spits?   Perhaps I offended Electro, God of all things shocking.  Or maybe I've taken the role of Alexander who had a "horrible, no good, very bad day."  Well, it actually wasn't that bad because I happen to be the sister of Super Erin who came to my rescue just before the flux capacitor exploded, and brought life to the car battery and the use of her very capable dryer so that we might have clean underwear tomorrow.  Thank you Erin a million times over for your super hero skills, and for feeding us lunch while our stuff dried.  You are the woman!  Oh ya, I forgot to mention that she let me watch the new Tinkerbell movie, a privilege I know I…

Candy, Costumes, and Cavities

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Here we have Reed, Isaac, Douglas, Alyssa, Chandler, Dantzel, Austyn, Preston, Brooklyn, Gabriella, and the one adult with the ability to keep all mobile creatures at bay for 1 second, Erin the Great.This was the only picture where everyone was actually standing where they should. Who cares if nobody is actually looking in the right direction, it's the position that counts. It makes me wonder if those older black and white photos from the 1800s and early 1900s where nobody is smiling, if it wasn't really the bad teeth but rather the inability to focus, stay still, and smile at the same time. Actually, I think the no smiling thing was a habit from when people had to sit for hours and hours while an artist painted their likenesses but never got over the habit of not smiling, forgetting that the picture only took a few seconds and that their cheeks wouldn't kill after just a minute of smiling. This I-don't-have-to-frown-in-my-picture realization probably didn't o…