Monday, July 25, 2011

Watermelons, pain-killers, and diet coke (I am not pregnant)

Questions…need answers.


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Today, as I entered my neighborhood grocery store, I walked past the watermelon section and observed two people trying to choose the best watermelon possible.  If I didn’t know better and my sight wasn’t 20/20 I’d say these two customers were patting a baby, listening to its intestines, and smelling it for a possible dirty diaper.  Really, how in the world does one choose the perfect watermelon?  That is not a rhetorical question, so please, if you know the answer I could use a little enlightenment.  My father-in-law once said that you look for a plethora “bee stings.”  That method has worked about half of the time.  What’s the key?  Anyone?




deserted island

Do you ever imagine what you would need if you were dropped off, washed onto, or Bear Grylls-ed onto a deserted island?  Do you have the skills and knowledge needed to survive?  I’ve thought about this, usually when I’ve got a really bad head ache and I’m starting to enjoy the comfort of modern day pain-relievers.  What would I do without this modern convenience?  I think, should I go back to school and study chemistry?  I really need to know how to make ibuprofen or even the lesser pain killer, acetaminophen.  I don’t think I’ll need to get the other ingredients for the really good stuff, as it wouldn’t be good to start an addiction while having to build a tree house, fight off pirates, and hunt for something in nature that could replace a toothbrush.  So, next question, how does one actually make ibuprofen?  Anyone?

Diet Coke

diet_cokeDoes Diet Coke have a hidden ingredient that makes you crave sugar?  I think so.  My theory is that your body thinks, “oh yaaaa!  I’m getting a sweet drink with caffeine, oh yaaaaa!”  and then, errrrt!  “Oh, it’s aspartame, not sugar, I still want sugar, oh look, there’s a chocolate chip cookie, it has the sugar that this diet coke thinks it’s giving me but isn’t.”  Then, the brain in this body incorrectly remembers her algebra and thinks that the diet coke, a negative, a zero calorie, can be ingested along with a cookie, a positive or moocho calorie, and that in all it’s calculations thinks that this negative times this positive makes a negative.  No calories!  I think there might be a similar theory out there in more scientific lingo, but I haven’t gotten around to taking that refresher chemistry class yet.  Anyone?  Bueller?

Friday, July 22, 2011

A Gerber grad party plus one distinguished Dr. Matt Williams!

Congratulations Matt! 

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Sunny Days

Sunny Days, sounds either like a really unfortunately named country music singer or the offspring of a flower-child.  This one was actually neither, it was just  nice outside and we all thought we’d like to soak up a bit of the day’s warmth.

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Each time they took their turn they’d say, “Go [fill in your favorite super hero]!”  After about 5 times each, they were running out of known heroes and so they started making them up.  Most of them had the word “diaper” in the title, like Thor’s Diaper, or Doofenshmirtz’ Diaper, or Perry’s Diaper.  Weird.

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Miriam did NOT want to play in the cold water so after a while we brought out warm water from the house and put it in a long shallow plastic container.  She LOVED that and so did Elizabeth.  (The pictures all have a green tint because we were sitting under the green umbrella.  So now they look like baby leprechauns).

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All dried, dressed, and dolled up after the days water time.  I took this picture because this was the longest time we managed to keep a bow in Elizabeth’s hair.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

7 Eleven or 6 Eleven (free Slurpies!)

He looks like he just turned 8 but this was only his 6th birthday.  The little man had a wonderful time and got a piñata, at last, for his big day.  He’d  begged for one for probably 3 years now and finally got one.  Besides candy dropping from the sky as Isaac gave the Lightening McQueen piñata it’s final blow, we had the slip and slide and the blown up pool set up for all the kids’ entertainment.  Aunts, uncles, and cousins came including Matt and Leigh who were in town visiting from Janesville, Wisconsin where Matt will begin his medical residency soon. 

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A 6th and a 1st!

On 7 Eleven, Isaac celebrated his 6th birthday.  The highlight of the evening, other than the Cars themed piñata, was the loss of his 1st tooth!  Thanks to aunt Erin’s skill and a pervious tutorial given by her kids’ dentist, she was able to yank it out in one pull.  No tears were shed but a tissue was still required to soak up the bleeding gum.

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Isaac’s cousin Brooklyn was there for him the whole time.  Very supportive of her Smile to do that.  I know I’d want someone with me even if I were to lose a tooth today.

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Corn dogs

corn-dog-su-1823274-lReed:  Next year they’re taking corn dogs off of the school lunch menu because too many people keep making jokes about them…do you know what I mean?

Mom:  I could imagine.  

I wish the corn dog ban had been for a reason like they were too unhealthy, rather than the result of an unfortunately named and shaped food item.

Sunday, July 10, 2011




Mr. Douglas has been asking for a pet, any pet, for the last 9 years, or at least it feels that way.  He and I are allergic to the furry creatures, I refuse to have any type of reptile in the house, we are fish killers and are therefore left with one option, a bird.  Aunt Jodi happens to have a parakeet (budgie bird) that she is willing to give us.  But, before we acquire said bird, I want Douglas to be prepared for it (not sure of gender yet) when it comes.  Last night I looked up  the The Brain’s, aka, Wikipedia’s, information on budgie birds and printed it out.  Douglas was a bit shocked by the amount of literature I was giving him but after a serious look on my face, a lift of the eyebrows, and a sentence that started like, “if you want to have a bird…”, he took the papers and read.  A little while later he came in to tell me what he’d leaned, and also pointed out the luck in timing for getting this bird.  “It’s a good thing we’re getting this bird before August because between August and January is breeding season.”  Before I knew what I was saying I told him that we were only getting one bird so breeding season wouldn’t affect our bird.  He simply said, “oh,” after which I started asking him what else he learned about the bird.  The Question once more averted, yes!

Ah…Douglas, once more. 

If you ever want to feel like you are climbing up a rocky slope, barefooted, with a 50 pound pack, and a guy at the top laughing at you and telling you you’re not even close to the top, you may have that same experience by coming over to my house and having an argument with Douglas.  You will never win, even if you think you’ve won and are ready to exhale with relief and walk into another room for a moment of peace, you won’t get the chance because Douglas is never wrong, has a never ending supply of air, and if there is any fault to be laid , it won’t be upon him.


This is the rocky slope, but in this picture, you’ve already fallen to your death.

Yesterday, I asked Douglas to do some sort of chore and added a quick lesson to live by while I was doing it.  Something like, you know, you really should start doing this every day and get used to helping more…After which he said, “well, maybe I’m just lazy.”  As if that was some sort of excuse that would make his plight more understandable and thus acceptable.  I told him that being lazy was not allowed in our house and that he must be of more help, etc…  Finally, he told us that, “Maybe if you’d started teaching me this earlier I wouldn’t be this way now.”  At this point you might imagine me banging my head against a hard surface but I didn’t, I just laughed and laughed, and laughed, and then threatened him with a loss of computer time and that seemed to do it.  After all was done, I still didn’t feel like I’d won that one, but I do know my abdominal muscles were a little bit firmer than they had been before. 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Babyroni and Cheese



Miss Izzy has an endless amount of cheesy faces, all of which make me laugh hysterically.


Just waiting for this little monkey to start flying.  She just figured out how to open the child gate.  Ugh!

Merry Christmas!

December 2018 (Cliff’s notes version:  Merry Christmas, we love you all, and have a happy New Year!) Dear Family and Friends (...