Friday, May 30, 2008

Math Emergency

This is from an email my cousin Jayme sent me. It is hilarious! Douglas asked me why I was crying while watching this and I had to explain that when something is really funny, sometimes people laugh so hard tears come out (and sometimes other things, depending on how many children you've had). He must think women are the weirdest creatures ever. We cry when we're sad, we cry when we're happy, and we cry when we laugh. If anything, we have incontinent tear ducts.
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Monday, May 26, 2008

A Weekend spent with friends, too much food, and fun, fun, fun! The best 'f' words I know.

IMG_0081 [640x480] This memorial weekend was spent mostly outside enjoying the sun and the warm weather.  Unfortunately, after a long cold winter, 81 degrees has become a little bit too warm and uncomfortable for my taste.  What will I do with myself when it gets into the humid 90's and beyond?  Humidity and heat are conditions in nature that trigger an unstable state of mind for a person such as myself.  It's on days where those two are combined where I've seriously considered shaving my hair off.  My hair really does a great job of keeping the heat in, a great natural feature for a Michigan winter, but a curse in the summer.  Oh well, I guess the small bouts with insanity in the summer are worth enduring if I am to ward off frost bitten ears in the winter.  Ears or hair, or ear hair, ew.  Maybe that's how bald guys survive the winter, by cultivating a rich harvest of hair in the ears.  I've always felt that men who go bald aren't really loosing their hair, it's just being sucked into their heads and coming out elsewhere.  Ears, nose, back, etc...IMG_0085 [640x480]  IMG_0077 [640x480]

Well, minus the encroach-ing and inevitable heat, we really did have a nice weekend.  First we met some friends at a park at Lake Lansing on Saturday.  To get there you take a road called Lake Lansing Road, imagine that (did you also know that if you take a road called Saginaw, you will also get to the town of Saginaw?), which is also the road to a great shopping area, but for some reason I never thought about going to the actual lake.  Only now in our final months as Lansing-ers have we been introduced to it and wish we had known about it sooner.  What a fun place!  Our next fun activity was a double date with some wonderful friends who will also be moving, weep-weep, sniff-sniff (where's the tissue?).  We all realized that we haven't been on a double date in years.  The last time I went on one was when we were trying to set up one of my friends with a guy.  I suppose once you're married you're not required to double date out of moral precautions.  Even though we could "technically" throw those pre-married rules to the wind, we all behaved ourselves with the utmost decorum, except for maybe Jeannette, hmmm...

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Today, we were invited to another wonderful friend's house, the Millers, for a bbq.  Writing this blog is making me realize how many wonderful people we'll be leaving, again, where's the tissue.  Memorial Day must have a bbq involved or something is very wrong.  It's that or go wild shopping all the sales.  The first is probably the safest and most encouraged by my husband.  For some reason when we shop he gets this really glazed over look in his eyes and it's like he's passing over into another realm of existence where they torture you and slap your feet till they really hurt and then jump on your back till it to really hurts, weird.  IMG_0109 [640x480]

Our final activity of the weekend was spent in the back yard squirting the boys off with a hose.  You gotta clean up some time and they were pretty dirty.  They enjoyed every last droplet of cold water that came out of that hose.  I just need a soap setting to make it the new replacement for showers.IMG_0115 [640x480] 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Witch Ranch

 

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I don't know how many bobby pins I had in my hair, but I have the feeling that if I were to suddenly jump up, click my heals together and take off on a broom, a swarm of bobby pins would be left floating in the air behind me. Yes, I was a beautiful Witch Hazel yesterday. Today I feel the look coming back and faster than I'd hoped. I got my hair cut 2 days ago and have no idea how the hair dresser got it to do what it did to look good. All of my attempts are making me look like I'm growing out a mullet while sporting a Farah Fawcett wave. I suppose if I were to complain to my hair dresser she would say," well, I do have years of training and experience." I guess comments like that are why the rubber band was invented.

Reed and Douglas have just left for their school field trip to a ranch. Reed thinks they're going to Texas and I think he'll be surprised when he realizes how close it is to Michigan. These two ranchers were up at 6:30 this morning, dressed and asking when we were going. "Not for 2 more hours, go back to sleep!" I guess the teachers stressed over and over that they needed to be on time as the bus would leave at 9am sharp and everyday since they've reminded me. I think some things should only be shared with the parents. Fund raisers for example, what the heck is the school thinking trying to get Kindergartners to go out selling crap from some magazine that makes a 3 inch box of chocolate look like it's a foot long so they can win prizes. Come on! They're going to have years and years of education to compensate for what $10,634 yearly doesn't cover with lame fundraisers. So, where does this money go? I have the feeling there are too many fingers touching this money before it actually gets to the school where my child is attending. And now to pay for the mismanagement of funds, my kids get to sell disgusting chocloate, 1 yard lengths wrapping paper, and ugly glass figurines to the neighborhood and family so they can earn a prize in the form of a generic Rubik's cube or plastic Slinkey. Ugh!

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Isaac being a cute cheezer boy for the camera while I went around the house taking different angles for people to see who want to buy a townhouse. He was much cuter than all the rooms in our house.

Anyway, I'd better get a start on cleaning up the house to prepare for my two ranchers arrival and to maintain the facade of order when a possible buyer comes to check out the place.

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Deaf of the Dandelion


As usual, I sat quietly reading a book in the car waiting for Reed and Douglas to get out of school, and, as usual the silence was broken with an ear-piercing, dog-style whistling, alien torture device scream of one large-lunged Isaac, strapped in his car seat. For some reason, waiting 20 minutes in a car seat for his brothers is not easily done in silence (hiking up to some high mountain peak bare footed and spending a year in silence to attain some benefit like self control, voice healing, or a Jack Handy style deep thought, is definitely not in his future). I have it on good authority, that this is a genetically passed down trait from his dad, who regularly screamed so loud and high pitched next to his pregnant mother that his future little sister Andi jumped. Thank you Chris. I've thought several times, usually too late, that it would be nice if I packed some ear plugs in the car for these sessions. I've even considered picking up some old french-fries from off of the floor and molding them into ear plugging shapes. Oh well, now you know why it is I will be completely deaf in about 5 years. I'd better start listening to those lovely sounds in nature, the harmonies of an orchestra playing Beethoven, and the gentle sound of rain while I still can. I can start to wonder "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around does it make a sound?" Does that apply to these high pitch screams? Though, I suppose the shattered glasses in the room found after the scream would prove otherwise.

Ramble, ramble, ramble…

Anyway, the screaming died once the bell to let school out rang and Reed and Douglas started running for the van. My ears are still ringing and I'll still have a good excuse for the doctor when he sees all the scaring in my ears, "no doctor, I'm not an overly zealous Q-tip user, it's my son’s fault, honest!"

Reed and Douglas came to my rescue and Isaac was so diverted that he forgot all about hurting his mommy's ears. I was blessed with a lovely gift from Douglas as well when he came to the open window with a bouquet of freshly picked dandelions. I thanked him and he got in the car. No wonder he has 3 "girlfriends," quite the ladies man. Once we were all strapped in and happy with our seating arrangements (always an issue as to who has to sit by Isaac, ugh! Poor Reed got the corner of a book in his eye this time) we headed on home.

Once home,we distractedly got out of the car finding it hard to stop looking at a Power Ranger book or having a hard time opening a door or two. I was the last to leave the vehicle as I was in charge of making sure the often-left-open doors were shut. I'd say once a month on average a kind neighbor comes over at around 10 pm to let us know our van door is still open. Sometimes I think they probably don't even bother coming over anymore, but just shut it themselves. Anyway, I closed up the van and carefully carried in my lovely bouquet of Spring flowers. I was looking around for a little vase when Douglas came up to me and said, "if you don't want those dandelions, just let me know and I'll pop their heads off." I couldn’t prevent the kind of joy that comes from this popular in-herbaceous treatment of plants and therefore gave them to him, but not until I'd had a chance to take a picture of the ignorantly happy flowers. Don’t' be surprised when you hear that Douglas grows up to be either a hit man or a lumberjack.

Well, my brain is slowing down as I am sooo tired. I spent the last two nights staying up reading Stephenie Meyer's new book, The Host, and it was worth every hour of missed sleep. I loved it!!! That woman can really tell a good tale. I’d recommend it to anyone, so read it!


Sunday, May 11, 2008

Booglue


Warning: Basic humor ahead. Do not read if you are at all uncomfortable discussing the intricacies of the human experience and of one of it's most widely shared mediums for expelling the unwanted intruder, the germ or allergen in this case.

Douglas and I have been cursed with allergies, a-a-a-choooooo! Mine make themselves manifest in itchy eyes, a runny nose, and in sneezes that could deafen the person standing too close to me. Sorry to those of you who have had to learn sign language because of me. Doulgas' allergies leave him constantly stuffy, also with itchy eyes, and sometimes dark circles under his eyes. Because of the stuffiness, there has been an excess of snot and many other more hardened sculpted forms in our house. One would think my boy would be the master of tissue or hanky usage, but no, this is far from the case. I believe I have found a substance stronger than mortar, harder than granite, and uglier than a sea slug, it is the dried up booger. It sticks to walls with the ease of Elmer's glue, but makes a petrified substance strong enough to stop a leak in a dam. I know this because I was the worker left in charge of tidying up the boys room before grandma and grandpa W. came in for a visit. In order to make life more comfortable we decided to separate the bunk bed. In this quest we also discovered where Kleenex was not used, the wall. The protruding petroglyphs (if they were hanging from the top of the bunk I guess we could call them stalactites) have been removed along with the paint they were attached to. Do they (the makers of glue) have anything like this on the market? We could call it Gloobers or Booglue.

Anyway, I know this is a disgusting subject, but this is life without being enrolled in Hanky 101. Douglas came up to me today with memories of being chastised about his placement of said petrified objects. He says he will try not to do it anymore, but for some reason he seems to think of them having their own free will. He thinks he is being acted upon and in a way he's right, he hasn't chosen to have allergies. Well, he approached me this afternoon after watching a commercial and told me that he knows a new way in which we can "manage our allergies." Since when does a 6 year old talk about "managing" anything? This kid is so enthralled and captured by commercials. According to him we would also need the Flowbee, the Clapper, the Thigh Master and the Push-Up Pro. I've got to keep that kid away from advertisements. They can be rather hypnotizing. I remember watching one of those long lasting commercials about an acne medicine and thinking "oh, I need that, that's a really good product." But then I remembered that I don't have acne and if anything I need more oil on my face. I guess I had better figure out which of all the allergy pills will help us to "manage our allergies" and get it quick!

Here are a bunch of pictures I took this weekend while Chris' mom and dad were visiting.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Pomp and Circumstance

Congratulations to the Graduate! Chris, you are the man! You are also the newest possessor of a Juris Doctor degree that I know of. May I shake your hand? Maybe a kiss too? Thanks! I am so proud, relieved, shocked, happy, nervous, excited and many more adjectives concerning our new state of being, that of being done with school! At least we can all take a deep and relieving sigh of relief knowing that Chris just finished his last test and last paper of law school.

The graduation ceremony was nice and legal. We were in the nose bleed seats in the Wharton Center on the MSU campus. They were fine seats, and as long as I didn’t' look down I was o.k. Only one person almost fell off, ahhh! My feet hurt just thinking about it (my physical reaction to height is pain in my feet). There were two speakers, both female judges here in MI. In the opinion of one, the best service a lawyer can do is to support the ACLU in one way, shape, or form. Well, maybe we can help them in the way of their demise, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa….(that was an evil laugh by the way).

I'm done! Get me as far away from this law school as possible!

Chris' mom and dad flew out for this momentous event and we've loved every minute of their stay. Reed, Douglas, and Isaac have been showing them what life is like for their mom and dad. Though, I think they’re showing their innocent-what are mom and dad complaining about -faces, well, except for maybe Isaac. Isaac let a few things slip, like tonight when he poured Reed’s grape juice on Reed, and when he kept spitting on people in an attempt to sound like a heffalump and when he microwaved a plastic toy cheetah (by the way a cheetah is a Cheeto that runs faster than a car). But, he’s so cute and gives good hugs and kisses, soooo, it’s o.k. I guess.

I was not friends with my camera on this occaision. Wash out!
But the subjects are beautiful so I guess that makes it all better.

Thank you to all of you wonderful people who have supported us through this law school experience. We are truly blessed and I really mean it! Sometimes I’m in a state of constant awe just looking at the things that had to take place for us to be here having this experience.

Monday, May 5, 2008

"A heffalump or woozle's very sly!"

Isaac is sitting on the Lazy Boy reclined and comfortable watching The Heffalump Movie with his brothers. I have never heard him enjoy a show so much as he enjoys this one. Just a few minutes ago he was cracking up over Roo throwing vegetables at Lumpy, the heffalump. I think this must go along the lines of the pie being thrown in the face type of humor. I really can't stand this show and I'd get rid of it if it wasn't for those cuter than cute giggles. It's so cute that I don't even mind suffering through the Carly Simon background music. I don't know if anyone is like me in this regard, but there are actual types of music that make me sick even to the point of wanting to throw up. Chris calls me a synesthete, "a person with a neurologically-based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway." I think it gets worse the older I get.

Chris is in a final at the moment, his last in fact. Meaning The last one, no more, finito, graduation is in 4 days kind of last final. If you could see me right now, I'm jumping up sideways clicking my heals together like Bert the chimney sweep does on Mary Poppins...and now I'm recovering from that and checking myself for sprains and bleeding...good, still in once piece! Chris' parents are coming out for the ceremony and to see their 3 adorable grandkids. Yes, of course their adorable, especially when they are sound asleep. Isn't it strange how you can see those dreaming faces and think, how could such a sweet child as this rip the child gate off the wall along with the screws and braces, and at the tender age of 2? It must have been some other 2 year old in another dimension, it couldn't have been this perfectly angelic dosing child.

Christmas 2017- The Case of the Giggles

         “ My liege, and madam, to expostulate What majesty should be, what duty is, Why day is day, night night, and time is time, ...