Thursday, January 21, 2010

Spaced-out Kitty

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I’ve been going through a bunch of my debris, as I am a major maker and storer of it, and found this awesome card that my cousin Jayme gave me on my 24th birthday.  Oh, how this picture sums up so many moments of my life.  In fact, I think I could have looked just like this in just about every math class I’ve ever taken.  I’m sure many of you out there will instantly relate with this picture at some level.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

“To sleep perchance to dream…” something really, really weird.

Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge

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2.) The strangest dream ever…

This is from a journal entry I wrote on February 19, 2008 in one of my many journals (why do people always give me journals, I have like 10 of them and each of them probably has 10 pages written on and than abandoned for a newer and supposedly more writing inspiring looking paper and cover).  Looking back at previous entries, I actually posted this story when I had the dream in 2008, so sorry if this is a rerun to the few of you who read my ramblings.IMG_3505

I had the weirdest dream last night. I'm one of those people who shouldn't watch anything on TV too close to bed time. Last night we watched Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back. It's been several years since I've seen this one and it was almost suspenseful. After all that time it was still disgusting when Han Solo sliced open that beast they ride on the ice planet, Hoth, then putting Luke inside of it to keep him warm. Couldn't there have been some other way?

The reason that Luke needed rescuing at all is that he ran into a sort of abominable snowman called a Wampa. The Wampa almost finishes him off but is foiled when Luke slices his arm off. Anyway, later on in the movie, Lando Calrissian, Han's supposed friend, seems to be working with Darth Vadar (about this time I was in and out of the room and not paying close attention) and he allows Han Solo to be frozen in carbonite.

On to the dream… I went to bed last night thinking of Lando as a traitor. My dream was a continuation of the movie. Lando turns out to be the Wampa that almost killed Luke. He transforms from Lando to the Wampa when he's ready to attack. While transforming he becomes somewhat vulnerable. It is discovered that if you pull out his tongue while he's transforming, which is the texture of a gummy worm and very stretchy, you can kill him. Well Han ends up pulling out the tongue, but not with out loosing his nose which the Wampa breaks off it being already brittle because of the carbonite freezing.

I'm debating whether to send this to Spielberg as a suggestion for a Special Special Edition for Star Wars Empire Strikes Back or to do the sane thing and pass it strait on to Mr. Freud. What would Lando's mother do?

Haven’t had a sugar cookie since December 27th…

Finally, I’ve recovered from Christmas and am ready to display, in photo format, a glimpse of the festivities.  I say recovered because as an adult it seems to be part of the process with holidays and all the differently shaped facets that come with it, from decorating, mailings, pictures, cleaning, and much, much, more.

We had a very nice Christmas which is always the case when we get to visit with family, eat too many sugar cookies, and get spoiled beyond reason.  I’m sorry, if you were wanting to see any pictures of me you’ll just have to wait till I’m done being pregnant.  I don’t know why the photographer (Chris) kept taking pictures of me from the side, displaying in all its big-ness the belly and the extra chin every time.

If you want more details, those not included in the pictures, you’ll just have to email me as my head is at this moment completely stuffed with a cold, the symptoms reaching to the cracks in my brain thus clogging the extensive thought processes.  Hope you are all well and haven’t caught your 4 year old’s cold via snot kisses, yes, snot kisses.  How can you dodge a kiss from a four year old when it’s running at you so fast you don’t even notice the glistening trail that’s running out of his nose?  Anyone want a snot kiss?  Yummy!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

“I can’t get up! I can’t get up! Ralphie!!!”

Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge

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1.) Time for your tangent…what is your latest complaint?

imageWell, I don’t really have a whole lot to truly complain about considering some of the tragedies that are arising around the world, the earthquake in Haiti being the most recent and horrible.  However, if I must complain I think I’ll downgrade it to a “complaint-let.” 

As we all know, I’m expecting twins, again, and therefore get to spend half of my pregnancy in doctor’s offices being examined, ultrasounded, and advised on how best to make it to the deadline which happens to be 37 weeks.  Having had 2 c-sections already and this being my second set of twins, letting someone go to 40 weeks just isn’t something they like to do.  I made it to 36 weeks with my first two and, as it was, they came out weighing 5 lb. 13 oz. and 6 lb. 4 oz.. 

Every time I go to the doctor and make an appointment for my next visit, they put the date and time on a 5”x7” informative card which contains what to expect during my next 4 weeks.  I happen to have a book which I’m sure many also have, called What to Expect When You’re Expecting.  The symptom that lasts the entire 9 months and beyond is flatulence and I think it even lists it first in each chapter.  Yes, we understand that we and others will suffer but I do not think they need to mention it every single month, as if the knowledge that we are getting bigger and bigger isn’t enough to damage our self-image, let’s add socially unsuitable in small enclosed rooms. 

Anyway, the obvious is too often expressed in such literature.  The 5” x 7” card has updates on your body, your baby’s development, and even your “partner,” a word that I think is somewhat offensive if not idiotic when referring to your husband.  Every time I read the section about him and what “my partner” will need, I keep waiting to get instructions on square dancing.  Yes, I know that not everyone goes about procreating in the same way, but in this case, the partner is male, married to me, and definitely not a square dancer.

Well, the point of this complaint-let was originally inspired by the “pregnancy tips” section of this informative card I got where it says:

“The uterus and baby are now around your belly button.  You should avoid activities in which you lay flat on your back more than a few minutes including exercises and sleeping on your back.  If you wake up and find yourself on your back, just roll over onto your side.”

About a year and a half ago I posted a blog about the unfortunate tale of Gregor Samsa’s Metamorphosis, where one morning Gregor wakes up and discovers he has transformed into a large bug.  With such a dilemma one would consider the challenges faced in trying to roll over if stuck on your back and the necessity of doing it quickly before one could come to harm.  After reading my pregnancy tips I for some reason pictured myself as some helpless creature, stuck on her back and utterly aghast that I could fall asleep in such a vulnerable position.  The fright and panic that ought to ensue after such a discovery should take me over the edge…Really, can you believe they actually had to tell us what to do if we realized we were sleeping on our backs?  I would compare it to advice like “should you notice that you’re holding your breath…” and then need to be advised to inhale or exhale.  I really couldn’t help not laughing when I read this tip but was slightly annoyed that they needed to actually print the solution for finding yourself asleep on your back when you shouldn’t be.

There you have it, my “complaint-let” in a tangent-esque style and inspired by the Obvious.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Happy Birthday to the Bear and the Burrito!

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They have almost reached their finger counting limits and would have today if they had been born octopuses.  Good thing they have 2 more fingers and 10 more toes to go.  I ran out of digits a long time ago and have had to start using other peoples to compensate for going beyond the age of 20. That’s one extra reason to have kids, “son, bring me your feet, I’m turning 60 today!”

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Instead of making two cakes again, I decided to just designate sides of the cake to each boy.  In the past I have been the one left home alone with the chocolate craving and a very satisfying stash.  No more, one cake, and everybody better get their fill.IMG_3491 [640x480]

  

Reed and Douglas got a bug maker from their friends Park and Case and here we see the makings of entomologists, a gooey back-up should paleontology seem too dry and dusty a subject.  It’s kind of a cool contraption where you squeeze out the goo into the molds, slide it into the horror-film version of the “easy-bake oven” and wait while they cook and solidify into wiggly creatures.

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Yesterday, we had a little party at Macdonald’s with all the girl cousins and 2 male friends to help even out the high pitched squeals of the girls.  The other favorite gifts they got were lock boxes from their aunt Erin.  They were so excited and no longer have a way of blaming their missing treasures on Isaac. 

Yet, again, I can’t believe they’re getting so old and growing up.  They still keep our life filled with laughter and joy.  The things they say and their perspectives on everything constantly surprise.  Happy Birthday Dougie-bear and Reedo-burrito!  Yes, some day they’ll be embarrassed over their nick names but we’ll keep using them just the same :)  (when they were babies, Douglas used to growl in his sleep, thus the bear, and Reed had to be wrapped up like a burrito in his blanket or else he’d constantly startle/wake himself up).

Monday, January 4, 2010

Resolutely Resolved Resolutions

image “It’s best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.”

1.  To regularly feed my children healthier foods than I do now.  This morning when Isaac came into my room, we asked him if he was ready for some breakfast.  He responded by saying, “no, I want fake breakfast.”  So we asked him what a fake breakfast was, thinking something magical from the colorful world of Imagination, but he said that “fake breakfast” was treats.  Ah…I see.  When I say he needs “real food” before he can have a snack this is where the logic eventually flows.

2.  To excavate the muscle on the back of my upper arm that the experts believe really lies beneath the sub-cellulite layers.  I found the box that holds my 3 pound weights and almost pulled a muscle hefting it down from the shelf.  Obviously, I have muscles somewhere if I think they can be pulled.  But, they could be imaginary or “fake muscles” too.  Anyway, when Chris walked into the room to see me doing bicep curls with my butter yellow 3 pound weights I had to insist that he not laugh and he didn’t.  Though, I do wonder if he has a skill for the kind of exuberant laughter that stays on the inside.  I’m sure if that’s so, his inner laughter source is about ready to pee it’s pants.

3.  Read a non-fiction or philosophical book that would make me look smart, or perhaps brilliant if paired with the right shape of dark rimmed glasses, if I were to be seen reading and drinking hot chocolate in a coffee shop.  I might need to buy a faux collection of thrift store clothing, grow out my eyebrows and upper lip hair, and allow a few locks of hair to dread-up, but I’m sure there are crowds that would think I was definitely the leader of a “herd of independent minds.”

4.  To get over my phobia of looking up my bank account.  There are solutions but I have a phobia of them too.  Once I type in all of the info and right before the nasty truths appear, I have to stop myself from closing my eyes out of fear.  I’m sure I make funny faces, sort of like the kind you’d make right before the beautician rips off the wax that removes the upper lip hair.

5.  Oh…there are many more and I will have to take a serious moment with my journal to write down the ones of greatest importance.  Oh yeah, start writing in my journal, that’s one too.  Happy New Year and good luck to all who are going to strive for better things and a better way of living this wonderful life that God has given us.

Christmas 2017- The Case of the Giggles

         “ My liege, and madam, to expostulate What majesty should be, what duty is, Why day is day, night night, and time is time, ...