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Showing posts from February, 2010

Another one bites the…?

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Isaac:  Today I bit a mean boy with my vampire teeth.Mom:  It’s not nice to bite people.Isaac:  Oh, but he kept hitting me and hitting me.Mom:  What was his name?Isaac:  Pretzel-head but my teacher calls him Poo-poo head.  Actually, no she calls him Bum-head.He was probably referring to the teacher he likes to call Mrs. Gravey, who is a very nice lady and would never call anyone those kind of names.  Aren’t 4 year olds so, so, so…is there one word that can pin down a 4 year old?  I don’t think so.

Why, oh why?

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Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge4.) “Why do we watch them? Make fun of soap operas with a piece of writing.”Mr. Mom quote where Jack gets addicted to soap operas:(on the phone discussing a soap opera):It's gotta be Todd's. What...Tony's? Tony had a vasectomy. Waddya mean it didn't take!The first and only soap opera I ever watched was Santa Barbara.  We were visiting our cousins for the summer and my older cousin Maquel, no longer interested in playing with Barbies, invited me to sit with her and watch the show.  All it took was one episode of watching the Capwells make complete messes of theirs and other’s lives to be hooked.  Kelly had the worst luck with men, falling in love with one, sleeping with that one’s brother, getting pregnant with someone’s child, falling in love with one man and then discovering she was really dating his evil twin brother who then has the good brother killed.  I think there was a little unknown incest in the mix, a falling in love with her sister…

“The horror! The horror!”

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Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge3.) Open your picture folders…find a random “February” picture from a past year and tell a story.Let’s see, how can I put this story in a delicate way, in a way which will spare or at least pad the tender imaginations of so many.  Once upon a time, on a day in February during the year 2006, two little boys of around 4 years of age, were discovered by their father in the basement surrounded by the contents of a torn open bathroom trash bag.  This father, upon his arrival to the subterranean level of his home, was met with a horrific sight, the kind only found in “Grosser than Gross” novels.  To get the best visual possible from this scene, let us first peruse the area in the order in which he did.  First, his twin sons sitting on the floor, covered/painted red all over their faces and hands.  Second, the white walls painted in red streaks at about the 3 foot level.  Third, the spilled contents of the bathroom trashcan.  Forth, those contents:  tissues, used de…

The Cold-blooded vs. the Warm-blooded

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I think I will be forever entertained by the complexity of my kid’s imaginations.  I just know when they look over these scenes of battle that it is live-action and that we adults are just too far removed from the world of imagination to see it.  Check out the carnage below as the army guys meet the dinosaurs.  I’m not sure on whose side the cow, horses, and tiger are on but they too seem to be surrounding the “Combat Carls.” Isaac said that the two dinosaurs on the left are on their way to eat condors.  Oh. If you look closely at this scene, it is really quite grotesque.  I don’t thing any of these guys actually have their heads on but I do see them strewn about the battlements.This is Isaac being as scary as he can be, I was too charmed to shiver with fear as I took this picture.

A Momentous Event

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My two oldest boys turned eight last month and were baptized members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just this past Saturday.  This was such a wonderful experience for them and for all those who drove far to be there.  We are so proud of them and for the choice they’ve made.  It was funny watching the two of them.  Douglas was like a ball of wild energy hardly able to contain his excitement in the anticipation.  Reed was very solemn and took it all in with great seriousness.  Each reaction is so like their personalities in all they do.Thank-you to all who came and the many of you who drove a long way to be with us.  We love you all!

An Empirical Education

Mama’s Losin’ Challenge5.) List 10 things you never knew until you were mom.1.  That boogers make a stronger adhesive than super glue.2.  When children are too quiet for too long they are most likely asleep or getting into some very, very, very deep trouble.3.  Patience truly is a virtue.4.  Children can scream in pitches that if contained could probably cut through metal in the same way Superman’s laser vision does.5.  That I should have taken classes in aerodynamics, physics, paleontology, and chemistry instead of focusing on humanities.  Oh, the questions I could answer if I’d been properly educated in college.6.  Gas/or bodily humor is just about the funniest type of humor on earth.7.  That I’d gain 3 extra memory carriers.  Whenever I take my children to the grocery store I no longer need a list, I just assign each one a few things to remember.  Of course, the list is always somewhat augmented to include Skittles or Hershey's bars, but we’re still pretty close in the end.8.  …

How would you write the tale?

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Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge3.) Gregory MaGuire (author of books like Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West and Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister) is wildly popular right now (as is the musical Wicked). Write your own “re telling” of a classic fairy tale.(As usual, please forgive the spelling/grammatical errors.  “I was not born under a [grammatical] planet.”)Wendy the Frog PrincessThe soft white lilies had closed and bade the warm summer day good night as Wendy slipped one long green leg, and then the other, into the warm tranquil pond. She held to the edge of one of the largest pads with her delicate webbed hands as she leisurely treaded up and down with her legs, making little swirls in the water behind her. She was quite at ease as she listened to the gentle chirps of insects and the quiet trickling of water accompanying this lazy evening’s sultry air. She watched as a fat fly buzzed by, oblivious to all things amphibious. Then, with a lightning fast flick of he…