Monday, February 25, 2008

Please Lando, tell me about your mother.











Warning: If you do not wish to know the random workings of this bloggers mind, do not read. There are somethings one has to get off of one's chest, or out of one's brain.

I had the weirdest dream last night. I'm one of those people who shouldn't watch anything on TV too close to bed time. Last night we watched Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back. It's been several years since I've seen this one and it was almost suspenseful. After all that time it was still disgusting when Han Solo sliced open the Tauntaun (that beast they ride on the ice planet, Hoth), and then put Luke in it to keep him warm. Couldn't there have been some other way?

The reason that Luke needed rescuing at all is that he ran into a sort of abominable snowman called a Wampa. The Wampa almost finishes him off but is foiled when Luke light sabers his arm off. Anyway, later on in the movie, Lando Calrissian, Han's supposed friend, seems to be working with Darth Vadar (about this time I was in and out of the room and not paying close attention) and allows Han Solo to be frozen in carbonite.

Well, I went to bed last night thinking of Lando as a traitor. My dream was a continuation of the movie. Lando turns out to be the Wampa that almost killed Luke. He transforms from Lando to the Wampa when he's ready to attack. While transforming he becomes somewhat vulnerable. It is discovered that if you pull out his tongue while he's transforming, which is the texture of a gummy worm and very stretchy, you can kill him. So Han ends up pulling out the tongue, but not without losing his nose which the Wampa breaks off in the end. I’m guessing it was already brittle because of the carbonite freezing. Somehow, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy were in the dream too, but we’ll leave it at that.

I'm debating whether to send this log to Lucas and Spielberg as a suggestion for a Special Special Edition for Star Wars Empire Strikes Back. Or do the sane thing and pass it strait on to Mr. Freud. What would Lando's mother do?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Which Jane Austen Heroine am I?

I am Elizabeth Bennet!


Take the Quiz here!


You Are...Elizabeth Bennet!

You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Chicken noodle Soup for the Toes



The other night I became adventurous and made chicken noodle soup from scratch. This is something I've actually never done before. Campbell’s has always taken that responsibility off my shoulders. If I'm not mistaken, making stock includes putting chicken bones or parts in water to soak the flavors out. Please correct my not-so-domestic knowledge. Personally, I prefer a bouillon cube. Well, bone's not included, the boys loved it! When this happens, Douglas will always say: Why don't you make this every night?! I rarely get that compliment from the Dougie-bear, so I try to remember the item being served on such occasions.

Somehow that night we got on the subject of tongues (dinner time subjects are always random at our house). What are tongues for? Where does the tongue end (Reed says it goes all the way to the stomach)? After concluding that tongues are where we taste the food we eat, Douglas pointed out to me that if he didn't have a tongue he wouldn't complain so much about the food I make. Ouch! This comes from a kid willing to eat sardines with Chris but refuses to eat pancakes. So weird. I think he might be the kind of kid who would eat a worm on a dare. I guess its fish eyes and chicken toes for dinner tonight, with a side of ranch. Ranch dressing always makes unpleasant things taste better.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Elizabeth Bennet in love with Jean-luc Picard






Over the past 6 years, Chris and I have formed a stronger and stronger “mind meld” as each other’s interests have been shared and understood through the other’s subtle form of indoctrination. Chris is a great fan of Science Fiction and I of Jane Austen and all things Georgian. Chris enjoys a Star Trek/ Battlestar Gallactica/ Star Gate night of entertainment. I enjoy a Jane Austen/Charlotte Bronte/Harry Potter night of entertainment. ( Of course, Lord of the Rings is common ground, who doesn’t like that?!). Being married to the other requires willingness to compromise. “We’ll watch 3 star trek episodes this time and then we’ll watch Pride and Prejudice the next time.” As Mr. Bennet would say of us "I have not a doubt of your doing very well together. Your tempers are by no means unlike. You are each of you so complying, that nothing will ever be resolved on."

Because we have shared each other’s preferred entertainment on many an evening, we each have let language from the other’s obsession seep into our own daily vocabularies. For example I once mentioned to Chris, when I was very hungry, that “I [had] a sudden craving for the blood of a live Kolar beast” (a line from Star Trek that Warf said during a reoccurrence of jak’tahla (male Klingon puberty)). I was really hungry that night, and that was a line that Chris would instantly understand and know that he had better feed his wife soon or either his or some Kolar beast’s life might be in grave danger.

Just last night I caught Chris quoting a line from Pride and Prejudice. We were discussing how it would be nice to have a room in our house that had no TV and was not the bouncing arena for 3 boys. Suddenly Chris, in a very Lady Catherine De Berg voice, said "This must be a most inconvenient sitting room for the evening, in summer; the windows are full west."


Last night, while discussing this compromise of taste, we thought how funny it would be to make a movie where Star Trek meets Pride and Prejudice. We got so far as to cast the film that I’m sure would be a hit if ever made. If you know any better to fill the rolls, do let us know.

Elizabeth Bennet: Dr. Beverly Crusher

Mr. Darcy: Captain Jean-luc Picard (or Spock, depending on how serious we wanted him to be)

Jane Bennet: Counselor Deanna Troi

Mr. Bingley: Geordi LaForge

Mr. Bennet: Commander William T. Riker

Mrs. Bennet: Lwaxana Troi (Deann’s mother on Star Trek Next Generation)

Mr. Wickham: Q

Lydia Bennet: Nurse Christine Chapel (she'd have to be very, very, very drunk!)

Uncle Gardner: Dr. Leonard McCoy

Caroline Bingley: V-GER (pronounced Veejer) formally known as Ilea before being taken over by the heart broken V-GER

Mr. Hurst: B-4 (Data’s mentally challenged younger brother)

Mr. Collins: Quark (a Ferengi )

Lady Catherine DeBerg: Sela (a Romulan)

Setting:

Of course the setting would have to be at Longbourn and Pemberly, but there would be food synthesizers and live Kolar beast would definitely be on the menu.

By the way,we didn’t have a place for Warf in this tale, but Chris decided if our next project was to be Jane Eyre, that he would make a great Mr. Rochester.

Christmas 2017- The Case of the Giggles

         “ My liege, and madam, to expostulate What majesty should be, what duty is, Why day is day, night night, and time is time, ...