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Showing posts from April, 2010

The Lady Weighs-alott!

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Here it is, the Belly in its 36th week of twin pregnancy.  If you were at the grocery store this morning, I was the one who would take 5 steps, stop, adjust pants and pull shirt back down and then repeat that dance again 5 steps later.I got yet another congratulatory adieu today at the doctor’s office as I proved once more my inability to dilate until the actual due date and beyond.  I’ll just keep waiting to go into labor or look forward, with an eye glued to the calendar, for the 13th to arrive.Do we like the picture of me next to my youngest son.  It’s like those samples for size comparisons one sees on containers for various items.  This is one granule of slow release fertilizer next to a quarter.  This is an atom next to a dime (where is it?).  This is me next to a 4 year old and his plastic ostrich (wow!).

Plogging along…

My blog as of late has turned into a pregnancy journal.  Instead of a “blog,” from the term “web log,” I should start calling it my “plog” from “pregnancy log.”Dear Pregnancy Diary,Apparently, I am the poster child for how to do twins.  Every visit to the OB and the perinatologist ends in congratulatory pats on the back and way-to-goes.  At 35 weeks, everything and everyone is in their right place, swimming in the correct amount of fluid and, shall I delicately say, the door remains shut.  For this, I get to wait for 3 more weeks to have these girls, putting their c-section/birth date on May 13th, a Thursday.  Pregnant at 38 weeks with twins is not a pretty site and if I were a few inches shorter, I’d most likely end up in a wheel chair.  My first set of twins came at 36 weeks only because my blood pressure was high and after two days of an attempted induction, the whole thing ended in a c-section.  Like I said, the door remains shut on this bearer of twins.  Thankfully, I live in the…

What do you see?

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Every morning, after I finally find one of the 3 shirts that still fit me and put it on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and compare myself to the fruit that best matches the color of shirt I’m wearing.  For instance, today I look like a gigantic plum.  Yesterday, in my black shirt and skirt, I looked like an eggplant, and the day before I looked like a Granny Smith apple on steroids.  I don’t know if this comparison is natural or if it just happens automatically, kind of like the various results one gets when taking a Rorschach inkblot test.  Dr. Minivan:  Focus Becky, what do you see on this card today?  Becky:  Two kumquats exchanging burp-pads and tossing their pacifiers into a pool.Dr. Minivan:  Uh-huh.  What do you see in this one?Becky:  A cotton-poly textured watermelon, the size of cow, sitting in a full lotus posture.  The cows legs seem to be asleep and she seems to be mooing for help.By the results of these tests, you can probably guess that I’m still pregnant.  The …

Giggle: a silly, spasmodic laugh; titter

Five Sights and Sounds that make me giggle…1.  Large men on mopeds:  Whenever I see it, I instantly start hearing polka music being played on an accordion in my mental background.  I’m not sure if I imagine the sound because the image goes so perfectly, but it happens every time.  2.  Words like:  This may reveal my immature nature, but here they are.pupa:  an insect in the nonfeeding, usually immobile, transformation stage between the larva and the imago. carbuncle:  the nice and more modern definition of this word would be a zit, but it gets worse than that.peevish:  cross, querulous, or fretfulbumfuzzle:  to confuse or flusterdiphthong:   an unsegmentable, gliding speech sound varying continuously in phonetic quality but held to be a single sound or phoneme and identified by its apparent beginning and ending sound, as the oi-sound of toy or boil.coccyx:  a small triangular bone forming the lower extremity of the spinal column in humans, consisting of four ankylosed rudimentary vert…

Where do they come from?

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Here we go again.  Why do kids have to know everything?  Why won’t they take the abstract answers we offer?  Isaac:  Hey, where do little girls come from?Mommy:  The same place as little boys, from Heaven.Isaac:  But how do you get fat?Mommy:  Because that’s where they grow, in my tummy.Isaac:  But how?Mommy:  When mommies and daddies get married they decide that they want to have babies.Isaac:  So they go to the baby store after they get married?Mommy:  Something like that.  Hey, do you want to watch a movie?4 year olds…

House Ladderson

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I’m starting to wonder if Petsmart will soon be putting us on a “do-not-sell-to-these-people” list.  We would be classified under the “Dora” owners, the “fish-killer” owners, and screeching Psycho music would go off upon our entering the store.  We didn’t mean to kill the fish, but as of this morning we could be charged in the accidental homicides of two goldfish.  Despite our best efforts, House and Ladder died within 12 hours of each other and the cause is still unknown.  We returned last night to find House lying sideways at the bottom of the bowl, motionless while Ladder looked on in a depressed manner, or as depressed as an orange and black goldfish can look.  Chris discovered the scene first and quickly flushed him away where, we hope, his act ended and he regained life and is now the happy resident in a sewer-fish community.  After House’s death, Isaac decided to give Ladder, House’s name.  Reed suggested we call him House Ladderson.  Where do they come up with this stuff?!  We…