Monday, June 29, 2009

Davey Jones Gets Sick on Fast Roller coaster while carefully removing tail feathers from wild turkey…

IMG_2602 [640x480] After finally making it past the agricultural station, waving our bag of grapes at the fruit police, and saying “we waited that long for her to say she didn’t want our stinking grapes,” we made it to my parents house.  My dad drove back with us from St. George and took on his two grandsons, Reed and Douglas while we were left with the very polite and not too whiney Isaac.  When we divided and, in my mind, conquered the car occupants, we didn’t bother reminding my dad that the twins can riddle the unsuspecting and unprepared adult mind with questions that, once answered, will leave the listener unconscious or leaking brain fluids.  It’s a good thing my dad has bad hearing, or at least claims he does, or we might have not known or recognized him upon our arrival.

You will not see any pictures of moi as I am currently shy of cameras, the gym, and a healthy diet…sorry, but I have ultimate power since this is MY blog, ah-ha-ha-haaa….

Day 1:  Riley’s Apple Farm  Up the canyon from Yucaipa is a place called Oak Glen (a glen is a type of meadow, we had to explain when the boys asked, that it’s the kind of place that Sleeping Beauty likes to meet Princes in, “Tonight…meet me in the wood cutter’s cottage in the glen!”)  At this farm they had a couple of tours that took you back in time to either the early Frontier or the Revolutionary war era.  We took the Revolution which included a hike up to some goats and sheep which we each got to hold, pet, and milk.  Prior to this we learned how to write with quills made from Turkey feathers.  Our guide was sure to let us know that no turkey’s were harmed in the obtaining of their quills.  I nearly shed a tear until I was informed of this.  PETA would have been after these guys as fast as Obama killing a fly...  This was very educational and was the main reason for the next day’s collection of seagull feathers at the beach.

Day 2:  The beach!!!!  So, along with the seashells, abalone’s, and sand, the boys collected seagull feathers.  They must have forgotten that the recommended quills were made from turkey and goose feathers.  The day was perfect in weather and water temperature.  I was still too chicken to swim out to the buoy with my mom.  California coast water isn’t the crystal clear stuff of Hawaii and I’d much prefer see whichever creature it is that will bite at my legs and drag me down to Davey Jones's locker (very stinky place, stinky sea-socks everywhere not to mention the nasty infestation of flipper-foot. Ha-ha!  Sorry..).  The boys spent most of the time running into the water and then running faster out of it.  Isaac and Chris dug for sand crabs (I don’t know what they’re really called), Isaac was building sand castles, and then putting the sand crabs into the castles, too cute! 

Day 3:  Visited with long lost family.  We found them and spent the day with them.  My aunt Heidi has a pool and so the boys got to sport their beach tans and swim with their cousins.  Poor aunt Heidi, while trying to thwart the possible fall of a child into the pool, lost her balance and fell in herself.  Only after she knew her grandson was okay did she delicately use her signature expletive, too funny!  My sister Dani couldn’t be there as she was allowing a doctor to stick a needle in her back while extracting spinal fluid, ouch!

Day 4:  Disneyland!  Dani felt up to going but was warned by her doctor not to go on the really jarring rides.  It was a great day and thanks to my mom and her handy-dandy handicap card, we got into the fast lane of all the long-line rides.  Even if one wasn’t handicap, one would be after waiting in some of those lines.  Douglas’ favorite ride was Splash Mountain which he went on twice.  Reed’s favorite was Indiana Jones, and Isaac’s favorite was Small World during which he asked, “does this one go down?”  He was much relieved when Chris said no.  Though he enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean (one of my favorites), he didn’t like the surprise drops.  My mom, dad, and Dani stayed all the way until closing time while Chris, the boys and I left at around 10:30.  I had barely left the parking garage before they all fell asleep!

Day 5:  Recover from Disneyland.  We slept in.  I was aroused by the sound of a blaster and pirate swords in combat.  Grandma got them each a gift at Disneyland.  When she asked Douglas what he wanted, his only instruction was, “make sure it’s a weapon.”  Once we finally pulled ourselves together we went to the theater and saw the new “Night At The Museum” which we really enjoyed.  Because others we’ve talked to didn’t think it was as good as the first, we were prepared for a letdown, but instead were surprised at how entertaining it was.  Later that evening we found some more of those long lost people and had dinner. 

Day 6:  Time to go home.  Lift off was finally achieved at about 3pm CA time and we got to St. George at about 10pm.  There were a few reasons for our delay but I do not wish to embarrass anyone by saying why, but I can at least say, Pepto-Bismol was involved.  Me no eat at MacDonalds ever again!!!!!!!  Blech!!! 

Day 7:  Final leg, arm, toenail of our trip.  I believe the boys have mastered the ability to skillfully pee outdoors.  There just are not enough public facilities for boys with TWB’s (my dad’s term for teesy-weensy-bladders). But shyness for relieving themselves under the big blue sky was never an issue. I mentioned to Chris’ mom that I did indeed see the transformation of my kids from humanoid to monsteroid in the space of 2 days of travel.  Truly, blue fur, fangs, claws, and a strong roar were all included in their transformation.  It took all of today and a good long bath to wash away the monster side and my drain is now clogged with blue fur.

On the (mostly) whole, this was a fabulous vacation and a detoxification is to be expected when taking 3 very active boys anywhere further than the grocery store (no?  just mine?  really?!).  Thank you mom, dad, and Dani for keeping us housed and thoroughly entertained all week long.  We had an awesome time and I don’t think we even left any permanent marks on your walls!  We love you!!!!

Stopping by to say “hi dad!”

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(back) Linda, Gary, Nancy (front) Grandma H., Grandpa H. and Mary

We spent Father’s Day in St. George en route to our vacation in So. California and got to visit with my grandparents on both sides and some aunts and uncles.  We were treated to a delicious dinner prepared by those wonderful aunts before we drove off into the sunset and it was a hundred times better than the Burger King meal we were expecting/dreading on our drive.

We gave Chris a Star Trek glass with Capt. Kirk on it and a “Utah” In-n-out shirt, which when seen by a Californian on our trip nearly made him cross his chest as if warding of some unexpected evil.  Yes, how sacrilegious of them to go outside of California or Nevada.  Well, we’re grateful no matter how great the sin. 

We managed to get in a swim in Grandpa and Grandma P.’s pool which was a great wiggle remover after 5 hours in the car.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Good Night Gorilla, Goose, Gazelle, Gecko, Golfer, Goat, Gila Monster…

Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge  5.) Create a Help Wanted Ad.

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Parent or Zoo Keeper

Wanted:  One hard working adult.  Must be willing to remove items of an unpleasant nature.  Must be able to brush hair, oil skin, delouse, and part manes without angering recipient of treatments.  Must be able to coo, tweet, growl, wail, burble, snort, pant, purr, and hee-haw in tune and with the correct inflection and appropriate exuberance.  Final candidates will be required to display skills during interview and will do so at their own risk.  No hands, feet, or other body parts will be replaced or mended if things don’t go as anticipated as one must be prepared and understand the occupational hazards of this job.  This is an on-call position and may require working late into the night.  Must be able to sooth touchy tigers, brighten bedraggled bats, arouse a lethargic lion or placate a paranoid parrot.  You will find the job challenging at times but will most likely find fulfillment and a sense of well being when your day is through.  Knowing you have befriended a cobra and discovered the tickle spot of a Tasmanian Devil, you will leave at the end of the day happy and unbothered by the fifty different types of animal droppings wedged into the crevices of your boots.  Send resume to the address listed below and be sure to include the kingdom, phylum, class, and order of each of your previous family pets and the name you preferred to call them.  Good luck to all candidates. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

“Enter Three Witches”

imageLady Macbeth

Another “Mama’s losin’ it” challenge:

 1.) Grab your current read. Let the book fall open to a random page and share two “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.

“He was sick with shame.  How many stupid things could he do all in a row?  He couldn’t ride a horse, couldn’t pull a sword, couldn’t kill a man, couldn’t tell the truth, couldn’t turn down a reward falsely given, and couldn’t even say a kind word to a desperate girl but had to laugh at Lady Mary and make things worse.  And then to charge into a barn and find that he’d tried to knife an owl! 

And Prince Malcom had seen and had to save that poor woman, Ildred.”  (p. 93 Enter Three Witches)

image O.k., that was a little more than two sentences.  I just finished Enter Three Witches by Caroline B. Cooney and found it very entertaining and clever in its retelling, or new perspective, of the play and tale of Macbeth.  “Out, damned spot!”  It’s definitely more than a tale of difficult laundry!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Homerun for The Guy!

disneybaseball

Spiderman, The Guy, Venom, and Yuke (Luke) all went to church on Sunday.  Today, the Power Ranger came to the baseball game.  I mingle with all sorts thanks to Isaac’s introductions.  If there are any of you singles out there who need to be set up with a superhero, Isaac is your man. You may however end up with the generic/pirated or made in China versions that came out not quite right.  For example, he is acquaintances with Buzz Yightyear, Yuke Skywalker, and 006 (“one away from the big time”-Pink Panther).  image I’m not quite sure who “The Guy” really is, but every time I try to give him a good Christian name I am rebuffed by Isaac.  “The Guy” is bald, bearded, wears camouflage and is often seen fully clothed with Yuke in the bathtub, weird.

Today, as I said, we took the Blue Power Ranger to the game.  He proved to be a very loyal companion of Isaac’s as we watched the game.  Coach pitch isn’t supposed to be as stimulating as the real game (the one with rules and no back-up tee for those who just can’t hit it) but is a step above all out T-ball.  However, in the “real” version of baseball you don’t get to see the player’s carefully climbing the chain link fences in the dug-out.  Nor do you see the players taking a nap in the outfield.  Nor do you get to see your 3 year old son casually walk onto the field in the middle of the game, ignoring you, and everyone else, like you were some speck of dust who happens to know your name and loves to express it over and over again in an annoying tone.  howtoplaybaseball1thumb I rarely see, in the “real” version of the game, the runners trying to avoid being tagged out by running in circles around the plate.  Yep, coach pitch is definitely, entertainment-wise, a step above the “real” game and you get to see an assortment of superheroes and super kids all in one game!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Caffeine, Cocoa, and a Collection…

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2.)Name your current addiction...we can get through this together.

I don’t think all addictions are necessarily bad, and of which I happen to have a few. Two ought to be quit but the third one only needs a little management.  Is there such a thing as managing your addictions?  Maybe that’s what they call denial.  Anyway…

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First, Diet Coke.  If it were at all possible, I’d have an IV drip of the stuff hooked up to my arm all day long.  I’d even have the doctor squeeze a lemon wedge into the bag to improve the flavor, not that my veins would register it, but still.  I won’t confess to how much of the stuff I drink but I can say, it’s a good thing I’m on an ulcer controlling medication.

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Second, Chocolate.  Who doesn’t share this addiction?  It comforts, relieves, brightens, and offers a temporary high.  But, like most dependant drugs, the crash inevitably comes and so does the bad mood of the cocoa-holically (new word) deprived woman.  Grrrr….

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Third,  Reading and Re-reading.  This is the one addiction that I won’t and have no desire to cure.  But, management might be helpful.  I’m not one of those people who can pick up a book and read it slowly over a few weeks.  It needs to be read and it needs to be read all at once.  I compare it to watching a movie.  Do you watch a movie all in one sitting or do you watch a few minutes at a time over a long period of time?  Why should it be any different with a book?  People ask me where I get the time to read.  Well, let’s just say, I usually wake up in the morning red-eyed and drowsy.  Also, when other people plop themselves in front of the boob-tube for 2 or 3 hours, I plop myself on my bed or into a comfortable chair and read my eyeballs out.  Now, the “re-reading” thing is one that I could probably control better.  Besides the Stephanie Meyer collection, the Shannon Hale collection, and the Robin McKinley collection, my latest re-reading addiction has been the Megan Whalen Turner collection.  There are more and I can be pulled away and be sucked into to other new and fabulous books, but if they don’t make themselves known in a very fast way, I most likely will fall back on my good old re-readers.  Miss Austen’s books will sometimes slip in there along with the Miss Bronte’s.  I suppose the only cure is to get some great recommendations.  Thank goodness for Goodreads!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Aged…

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I aged.  Unlike wine, my age has not sweetened me up but, like cheese, I’ve gotten stinkier, but all the better for it.

Reed:  Hey mom!  Were you born in the 19’s?

Mom:  You mean the 1900’s?  Yes, in 1976.

Reed:  (exeunt left down hall, with great volume and surprise) Wow!  Hey Douglas, mommy was born in 1976!

Thank you Mr. 21st century for making feel like I was born under a fallen tree trunk during the Civil War.

Because of my depreciation, they took pity on their wreck of a mom and bolstered her up with chocolate.  I’ve almost forgotten their comments, almost.  I ended up making my own cake and frosted it PINK, a color not often displayed in this house.  There was a cup of leftover icing that Isaac decided would go well with Hot Tamales, the ones he got for me (happens to be his favorite candy).  Chris got me a $25 gift certificate from Amazon, apparently I’m a hard one to shop for.  I don’t think I’m hard to shop for, I just happen to like things that aren’t in our budget.  All in all, it was a lovely day.  Douglas even managed to almost not fight for most of the day, per his promise that I had in writing in my birthday card given to me from him, “Happy Birthday mommy, I promise  not to fight.—Love Douglas”  Can I get that in writing daily?  “Sons, just sign here, yes on that line, a letter will be fine, oh and a finger print…yes, thank you, that will do.”

Monday, June 8, 2009

Han and Leia on a Cheap Date

image In an attempt, and a successful one at that, to be frugal, we went to our local library on Saturday and saw Star Wars:  A New Hope (IV).  They passed out Tootsie Pops as snacks, of which Isaac ate at least 4.  It was really fun seeing this Star Wars on a bigger screen and with surround sound but I never realized until that showing how whiny Luke really was.  After his uncle tells him to clean up the droids, or something like it, Luke complains:

“But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!”

It was said in the nasal high pitch of a teenage boy but I guess it could also be comparable to the reaction I’d get after asking my boys to clean their rooms:

“But I was going outside to pick up some rocks for my flying saucer converters!”

or

“But I was going into my room to pick up Yuke Skywalker and Buzz Yightyear!” (Isaac is still struggling with his “L”s)

image Who knows, I may have three Jedi’s on my hands in few whiny years.  I’d better pull down the light sabers and let them get to their training (I keep having to hide their light sabers as there is sometimes too much of the dark side in their manner of fighting).

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Lift me like that!

“Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab it is the coolest invention of the 20th century!”  (Girls Just want to have Fun)

Girls just want to have fun

Let me substitute “Velcro” with “Christi” in this quote.  My most rockin’-est friend from my early days of high school and banana clips to my now totally chic friend of the 21st century, just sent me the movie Girls Just Want to Have Fun in the mail.  I quickly opened it, squealed with glee, waited for my husband to take the boys to baseball, and then danced into my room and put it on!  I’ve still got the music in my head and I also have this incredible desire to wear pink, glitter, and a ton of aerosol hairspray.  dancetv

My husband Chris walked in near the end and watched the dance off with me.  He saw a move where Jeff lifts Janey in the air and her whole body is pointed upward and then says, “that’s what that girl wanted me to do with her!”  Apparently, back in Chris’ high school years, there was a girl at a dance that wanted Chris to lift her like that and just tonight he got the grand epiphany as to where the girl got it from and why she kept calling him Jeff (no, I don’t think that last part actually happened, did it?)  jeffIf I asked him to lift me like that now, I’d have to have 911 on the line already, just in case.  

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

45 Word Obituary

Another “mama’s losin’ it challenge”.  I chose #5, which was to write my own obituary in 45 words or less.

birthdayObituary in 45 words.

She passed a few things before her death.image

None of which were stones or bad breath.

She disliked some, liked more, and loved a great many

And hoped that some day she'd earn more 'n a penny.

Tall, strange, and sweet, she'll certainly make great peat.

Christmas 2017- The Case of the Giggles

         “ My liege, and madam, to expostulate What majesty should be, what duty is, Why day is day, night night, and time is time, ...