Mama’s Losin’ It Challenge 5.) Create a Help Wanted Ad.
Parent or Zoo Keeper
Wanted: One hard working adult. Must be willing to remove items of an unpleasant nature. Must be able to brush hair, oil skin, delouse, and part manes without angering recipient of treatments. Must be able to coo, tweet, growl, wail, burble, snort, pant, purr, and hee-haw in tune and with the correct inflection and appropriate exuberance. Final candidates will be required to display skills during interview and will do so at their own risk. No hands, feet, or other body parts will be replaced or mended if things don’t go as anticipated as one must be prepared and understand the occupational hazards of this job. This is an on-call position and may require working late into the night. Must be able to sooth touchy tigers, brighten bedraggled bats, arouse a lethargic lion or placate a paranoid parrot. You will find the job challenging at times but will most likely find fulfillment and a sense of well being when your day is through. Knowing you have befriended a cobra and discovered the tickle spot of a Tasmanian Devil, you will leave at the end of the day happy and unbothered by the fifty different types of animal droppings wedged into the crevices of your boots. Send resume to the address listed below and be sure to include the kingdom, phylum, class, and order of each of your previous family pets and the name you preferred to call them. Good luck to all candidates.