Warning: Basic humor ahead. Do not read if you are at all uncomfortable discussing the intricacies of the human experience and of one of it's most widely shared mediums for expelling the unwanted intruder, the germ or allergen in this case.

Douglas and I have been cursed with allergies, a-a-a-choooooo! Mine make themselves manifest in itchy eyes, a runny nose, and in sneezes that could deafen the person standing too close to me. Sorry to those of you who have had to learn sign language because of me. Doulgas' allergies leave him constantly stuffy, also with itchy eyes, and sometimes dark circles under his eyes. Because of the stuffiness, there has been an excess of snot and many other more hardened sculpted forms in our house. One would think my boy would be the master of tissue or hanky usage, but no, this is far from the case. I believe I have found a substance stronger than mortar, harder than granite, and uglier than a sea slug, it is the dried up booger. It sticks to walls with the ease of Elmer's glue, but makes a petrified substance strong enough to stop a leak in a dam. I know this because I was the worker left in charge of tidying up the boys room before grandma and grandpa W. came in for a visit. In order to make life more comfortable we decided to separate the bunk bed. In this quest we also discovered where Kleenex was not used, the wall. The protruding petroglyphs (if they were hanging from the top of the bunk I guess we could call them stalactites) have been removed along with the paint they were attached to. Do they (the makers of glue) have anything like this on the market? We could call it Gloobers or Booglue.

Anyway, I know this is a disgusting subject, but this is life without being enrolled in Hanky 101. Douglas came up to me today with memories of being chastised about his placement of said petrified objects. He says he will try not to do it anymore, but for some reason he seems to think of them having their own free will. He thinks he is being acted upon and in a way he's right, he hasn't chosen to have allergies. Well, he approached me this afternoon after watching a commercial and told me that he knows a new way in which we can "manage our allergies." Since when does a 6 year old talk about "managing" anything? This kid is so enthralled and captured by commercials. According to him we would also need the Flowbee, the Clapper, the Thigh Master and the Push-Up Pro. I've got to keep that kid away from advertisements. They can be rather hypnotizing. I remember watching one of those long lasting commercials about an acne medicine and thinking "oh, I need that, that's a really good product." But then I remembered that I don't have acne and if anything I need more oil on my face. I guess I had better figure out which of all the allergy pills will help us to "manage our allergies" and get it quick!

Here are a bunch of pictures I took this weekend while Chris' mom and dad were visiting.


Melisa said…
Booger stalactites? hahaha You totally crack me up!
Natalie said…
Hilarious and revolting at the same time! You and I should start an excavation business; we have petroglyphs at our house, too. :)

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