The Lizard who Slurred
Message to all you who have children who are still teething: brush, brush, brush! I don’t care how small those teeth are, they need to be brushed. I know this because I just left the dentist with my 4 year old who had a mouth full of work done. We had to go the way of sedation with the amount of work needed as I don’t know any normal 4 year old who could sit through an hour’s worth of work and not scream his head off. I can barely sit for 20 minutes without screaming my own head off.
The whole process went smoothly, starting with the innocent looking dental assistant with the box of child-diverting toys. While Isaac looked for his favorite toy, the anesthesiologist lifted up his sleeve and gave him a shot of something very relaxing. I felt bad for him as I watched him lose consciousness, but saw that it was probably the best way to put in the I.V. Come to think of it, there are times I wouldn’t mind a shot like that myself.
After they finished their work on my boy, they brought me in to sit with him till he woke up. I was surprised at how calm he was as he woke. I think it helped that I picked him up and held him while he really started waking up. He had a lovely smile and great anesthetized breath which almost knocked me out!
Later, I carried his limp body to the car and strapped him in. As he situated his drunken-esque body into his seat, he managed his first concentrated inquiry which was, “where’s my toy?” That really must have been the clearest memory he had from the experience. A few minutes later, it was hard not to laugh at his adorable slurred speech as he told me, referring to his new toy lizard, “thissss issss myyyyy peeett lizzzard.”
Once we got home, the hardest thing was keeping him down. He was like a little drunk man trying to prove he could walk the painted line. I had to shut the gate to the stairs leading to the basement as he swayed in that direction. While I had to leave the room for a minute I gave Douglas the job of keeping him on the couch.
Douglas: “What if he tries to get up?”
Mom: “Push him back down.”
As daddy walked in the room to see his intoxicated son, Isaac blurted out with pride, “I’m all drugged up!” I don’t know where he got that line. By the way, the lizard was named, “Surfboard,” or maybe it’s “Sir Fbord,” after the infamous Norwegian knight. It was hard to tell with the slur.
It is now 8:45 pm, and he is much better and his insistent statement, made in his tipsier hours, “I can still walk though,” is finally true.