5.) If these walls could talk...
If these walls could talk, first they’d ask us if we could remove the petrified boogers, spit-wads, and the mosaic of Cheetos hand prints, so they could see better. Now if the walls haven’t lost their hearing from the high-pitch squeals of people ranging from zero to 7, they might have something to talk about. But there is still the chance that some of their mouths have been handicapped from dents, gashes, and pencil or crayon tattooing, thus making their stories slurred and maybe somewhat profane. After all necessary mending has been taken place these walls would probably say the following:
Basement Wall being supported by tv couch (BWTV): Ack! ew, spiders are such nasty creatures, did you see what that one was just doing to that fly?
Adjacent Wall (AWW): Well, you should see what’s going on in the window well over here. Hey, look, those kids are coming down again to play! Yipee!
BWTV: I just hope they don’t hit my wall again. Have you seen how dirty their feet can get and you know where they usually rub them? On me!
AWW: At least you get to watch TV with them.
BWTV: Wonderful. If I have to watch another episode of Blue’s Clues I’m going to start shedding paint!…Ah! Is that a gun? No, no, no! Please don’t point that at me! Yes, that’s better, your brother will make a much better target and besides, suction cups stick better to foreheads than they do to walls with semi-gloss paint.
1st Boy: Did you hear that? It sounds like it came from the wall.
2nd Boy: That’s weird. Walls shouldn’t talk!
3rd Boy: Let’s get it! Ready, aim, fire!
BWTV: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Let’s watch Blue’s Clues again!