A Wedgie for your Thoughts?

It’s seems to be a natural inclination inimage boys younger than 18, or maybe 90, to attempt to humiliate others of their gender in any way possible just for a good laugh.  I get more and more shocked when I see my boys do things that I would never have done as a child. I then ask Chris if what they are doing is normal for boys.  He laughs then says, sure, all boys are like that.  Apparently it is completely acceptable and even expected to suffer humiliation at the hand of their peers.  Towel slappings in the locker room, burping in each others faces, spitting, throwing verbal insults, taunting by saying nasty things about the other person’s mother, and hitting each other in places best left un-hit.  The list goes on and yet the fact that these things are embraced at such a young age, explains such idiotic things as line ‘em up and shoot battle tactics. 

This thought process began yesterday when Douglas came up to Reed and gave him a wedgie.  Reed complained with a slightly annoyed “don’t!” while his parents tried to correct and dissuade such an action.  Chris first said, “Douglas, did you know that if I were to do that to somebody at my age that I’d get arrested?”  We’ve had conversations in which we imagine our kids as adults behaving like they do with their co-workers.  Usually this is yet another attempt to defend the importance and challenges of stay-at-home moms.  Office life is a breeze compared to the stuff moms do during the day, really, I’ve done both!  So, if Douglas were to walk over to the cubical across the office and yell as loudly as he can, “you never let me eat macaroni and cheese!” or if he were throw a stapler at the secretary and then point to the guy in the adjoining cubical and blame him, one would only expect probation or a jail sentence.

The conversation quickly digressed as Chris and I started picturing him giving other adults wedgies.  Somehow, with the boys help, the question was posed, “what if the other person said you could?”  Then we clarified that if the person did indeed give you permission to give them a wedgie that you would have to get it in writing, signed and then notarized in the presence of witnesses before you could ever hope to get away with such an embarrassing and uncomfortable crime.

Yes, thanks to Chris’ legal education, that conversation turned down hill into something quite idiotic yet very possible, that is if the other party should agree to such an action to their person.

Punishment: 15 minutes time out!

Next case:  Tiger vs. Palmer in the case of a locker room towel incident.


Welch Mom said…
Oh, is that what I have to look forward to. I think Robb and I have had similar conversations leading me to ask " Do all boys do that?"
I think we should all start a blog club "Moms with burping, passing gas, picking nose, wedgie giving, spitting, worm eating little human beings.
Natalie said…
I'm laughing so hard right now because Adam and his brothers STILL act like that all the time and Adam always comes up with some usually un-welcome legal scenario to divert the innocent hitting in places better left unhit and wedgies into a humongous argument. Boys are in a whole other realm, aren't they? I love the way you write and can't wait to hear about the upcoming Woods v. Palmer case!
Natalie said…
By the way, I agree with Amanda. Rex already thinks it's hilarious to grab himself mid-diaper-change when he's soiled all over. Nice.
Heatherlyn said…
So funny! My boys are actually pretty mellow. So far ... and I won't give them any ideas about getting permission from their siblings in writing. I know that isn't exactly what the discussion was about but I can see it happening. :)
-Ang said…
I would just love to be a fly on the wall during your family's conversations. You guys are hilarious!
I'm hoping that having two older sisters will be a gentling influence on our new boy :).
Brenny said…
Oh my goodness, I'm laughing so hard. Unfortunately, I can imagine some of the guys at my office acting like this... What a great way to start Monday.
Becky said…
Erin said...Yes, this is hilarious! Unfortunately I didn't acquire Becky's whit, humor and writing skills. I lost out on that Chromosome in the family DNA. I have 4 girls, but they can burp, pass gas(toot), pick noses with the best of them. With maybe a little more drama. Girls! Kids!
Melisa said…
LOL! I know doctor families can have pretty interesting table discussions, but this is my first insight into a lawyer family discussion. haha!


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