It’s seems to be a natural inclination in boys younger than 18, or maybe 90, to attempt to humiliate others of their gender in any way possible just for a good laugh. I get more and more shocked when I see my boys do things that I would never have done as a child. I then ask Chris if what they are doing is normal for boys. He laughs then says, sure, all boys are like that. Apparently it is completely acceptable and even expected to suffer humiliation at the hand of their peers. Towel slappings in the locker room, burping in each others faces, spitting, throwing verbal insults, taunting by saying nasty things about the other person’s mother, and hitting each other in places best left un-hit. The list goes on and yet the fact that these things are embraced at such a young age, explains such idiotic things as line ‘em up and shoot battle tactics.
This thought process began yesterday when Douglas came up to Reed and gave him a wedgie. Reed complained with a slightly annoyed “don’t!” while his parents tried to correct and dissuade such an action. Chris first said, “Douglas, did you know that if I were to do that to somebody at my age that I’d get arrested?” We’ve had conversations in which we imagine our kids as adults behaving like they do with their co-workers. Usually this is yet another attempt to defend the importance and challenges of stay-at-home moms. Office life is a breeze compared to the stuff moms do during the day, really, I’ve done both! So, if Douglas were to walk over to the cubical across the office and yell as loudly as he can, “you never let me eat macaroni and cheese!” or if he were throw a stapler at the secretary and then point to the guy in the adjoining cubical and blame him, one would only expect probation or a jail sentence.
The conversation quickly digressed as Chris and I started picturing him giving other adults wedgies. Somehow, with the boys help, the question was posed, “what if the other person said you could?” Then we clarified that if the person did indeed give you permission to give them a wedgie that you would have to get it in writing, signed and then notarized in the presence of witnesses before you could ever hope to get away with such an embarrassing and uncomfortable crime.
Yes, thanks to Chris’ legal education, that conversation turned down hill into something quite idiotic yet very possible, that is if the other party should agree to such an action to their person.
Punishment: 15 minutes time out!
Next case: Tiger vs. Palmer in the case of a locker room towel incident.