My Ginsu knife is bigger than yours.

I am truly a wicked person.  When I happen to want a moment by myself there is one phrase I can utter that will send my kids running down the hall, weeping, whaling, and gnawing on the carpet.  It goes like this, “Hmmm…I think I’m going to sit down and watch Pride and Prejudice.” 

 “The horror!”  “Oh the humanity!”  “[Dang] them all to [heck]!”  “Rosebud.” and “Soylent Green is people!” can almost all be heard sung in wretched harmony, after such an announcement.  It is this simple phrase that not only gets me a moment of solitary peace, but chromosomal verification that I truly do live in a house full of boys.

I’ve reached an impasse, as Edward would say, in the case of Twilight.  I thought for sure, the mention of watching this newly acquired film, would be just one more weapon in my arsenal of fear-causing sentences.  I was wrong.  As I’ve mentioned before, I did let my boys watch it with me when we bought it, just to satisfy their curiosity and to gain a better understanding of their mother’s obsession with all things Twilight.  They understand, accept, and welcome it.  Isaac has gained a better sense of what’s right and wrong because of it. This is evident when he asks, “is he a good-pire or a bad-pire?”  Douglas shows his support as he asks which vampire is the strongest, fastest, or whatever.  Reed’s just waiting to see some werewolves.

 

I suppose I won’t need to hold my breath for the day that Douglas asks, “how great is Mr. Darcy’s estate?”  Or for Isaac to ask, “Who was prouder, Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth?” Or for Reed to ask, “Do you think Lydia has truly ruined her family in her disregard for propriety?”  No, I don’t foresee that.  Pride and Prejudice will always hold a leverage like no other.  A weapon sharper than a Ginsu knife, and a bomb bigger than the big one.