I rejoice today, for I have found something I thought I’d lost forever, my sense of taste. My phobia of dentists is a sound fear. I now, thanks to my apt. two weeks ago, have two pieces of evidence to back up this fear. First, the one I’d acquired back in 2005, was a dentist’s drill bit that had to be surgically removed from my intestines, and which the removers of said bit, gave to me as a souvenir.
“Take care Robin not to hit the tongue, but the gum!”
Second, due to an aiming problem, the latest dentist shot Novocain into my tongue during my last appointment. When I called to politely complain about it and to enquire as to wether or not this was a permenant condition, he said, “Oh! We didn’t tell you about our new free diet plan?” I had to try my hardest to force a polite laugh and then posed the question again, “so, when am I going to get my sense of taste back?” He put me on hold for a moment. I’m not sure why, unless he was checking to see if I’d signed the “I promise not to sue my dentist if he drills a hole through my tongue” clause. He told me to just wait and see, and call him in a week if it didn’t come back.
Today, two weeks later, I have finally regained my sense of taste on the left side of my tongue. My favorite treat of Havarti cheese and red grapes can now be enjoyed in its fullest splendor. I have to admit, that there was no change in the flavor of my diet coke throughout this whole episode, which, may or may not be a good thing. I’ve noticed since I’ve been taking my small doses of iocane (or novocain, or aspartame) powder with every meal, that my enemies, instead of me, unexpectedly fall to their numbing deaths.