Feet (and ankles) like an Ankylosaurus

hydrocortisone cream

Goal #4 has been accomplished.  The tree was painfully removed thanks to Chris and his ability not to squeal like a little girl while poisonous needles pierce his tender skin.  We had to apply hydrocortisone cream to his dotted rash covered skin but I believe he will once again regain his baby bum soft epidermis.  (You should see how soft his feet are, but I guess that's the result of always wearing socks and shoes unlike me who has a layer of armored skin comparable to that of an ankylosaurus.  I'm confident in saying that my bare feet have had more fun getting to their current cracked state than any soft foot out there.  Is it not a skill to be able to pick up used dryer sheets by just stepping on them?). 

Our new problem and I suppose goal is getting the before mentioned tree excavated from the foot of snow now covering it in time for the trash man, or whoever it is who takes all remnants of Christmas to be recycled, to take it away. I tried with my Barbie sized muscles to get it out and failed.

  barbie_poop

Can you believe such a Barbie exists?!  Why would any child want to pretend to pick up dog poop?!

Actually, I was already beat from shoveling. Maybe that's why I appeared to be Miss Wimpy for the neighbor across the street who was frolicking across his driveway with his snow blower while I trudged and budged the snow off of mine.   Yes, you can frolic if you have a snow blower and you can use expletives if you don't, though I of course didn't.

As for the other goals, #1, Douglas has showered and smells like something fruity, watermelon I think.  Because of the snow interfering with the satellites in space and the Martian who is wearing one as a hat, I haven't been able to accomplish # 2 , that of Google-ing the location of my gym.  I have had a droplet of luck with #3 after we purchased some Batman underwear but have a very long road, river, whirlpool ahead of us.

batman-underwear-L1

The quest to find better foods expressed in #5 has been thwarted by the fact that I drive by a Macdonald's every day.  Not that I regularly buy food there but I swear that I'm inhaling several grams of fat and a few teaspoons of cellulite every time my car nears it.  Either I should get nose plugs or start hitting the re-circulate button at the first hint of a french fry.  Time for a Rubens pinup.

Comments

Melisa said…
Unbelievable Barbie! Yikes!

I'm glad for the updates. I always wonder how people's resolutions go...
Jayne said…
I saw that Barbie at the store tonight. The little brown dog food is actually pooped out and then eaten again. Talk about confusing your kids! Which is it? Food or not??

Do you seriously have that much snow there? Is school cancelled with the power outages? Time to go sledding again!
I can't believe you admitted to picking up dryer sheets with the bottom of your feet! I actually did that while doing laundry this morning!!! Challenge!

I try to pretend that I have Arnold muscles... but in reality they are Barbie size. :) Too bad I didn't have the other dimensions to go along with them, since that would maybe give me an excuse.

Love hearing from you!
~Raela
mommymuse said…
I think our feet are twinners. You're doing a much better job looking at the bright side of dino-feet, however. We likewise took a teensy baby step toward the dreaded PT. Eric put Thomas underpants on for a split-nanosecond. He immediately screamed to get them off, but hey--it's progress. I'll take what I can get. At this point he'll be fully potty trained around the time he leaves on his mission.
Welch Mom said…
Believe it or not I picked up dog poop as a child when I worked at a dog training place. I am not kidding you when I tell you I got 10 cents a pile!
Natalie said…
Gym, schmym. If you're in charge of shoveling, there's no way you need to go to a gym! You are getting a grand workout already. :) I promise I'm not trying to divert you from your goal attainment, rather ease the possibility of guilt creeping in at some point. That Barbie really is horrifying...I hope that my girls stick with Polly Pockets and avoid Barbies all together (Pollys have much flatter chests!). My feet are akin to yours; not even the famed Ped Egg can rid me of my armor, but it's nice to be able to run outside to move the garbage cans to the curb when I hear the truck approaching; I don't even wince when I drag the cans through a healthy briar patch that has sprung up as of late. We rock.
That Barbie is pretty gross...
Have you ever seen Super Size Me? I don't think I ate at a McDonalds for like two years after that one!

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