Friday, January 23, 2009

Early, yet upbeat!

"Begin each day as if it were on purpose" (quoted from Hitch but I don't know who first said it).


There are mornings, such as the rainy cold one we are having today, where I feel there are evil forces at work in waking me up. First, there are the perky harpies on the radio alarm clock with news of cannibalism in the underworld and a slowing on the I-15, all in the same C above middle C tone, fluctuating slightly between B and D.


Then, I wake up to find that I've been turned into a cyclops with no recollection as to how, but know it as I reach up and feel the other eye has been completely sealed up in sleepy glue. Stiffly, I roll, yet with forceful grunts, to pulverize the alarm clock and then with a parched mouth start searching for a glass of water to wash down the remaining wool from last night's sheep-ka-bobs.

Alas, I emerge from the cave to go and wake up the cyclops-lets for school and beg them to get dressed quickly without eating each other and with promises that I will give them each a nice bowl of Odysseus Oats and a leg of lamb. They are quickly sent to school in their woolen coats leaving me to finally shower and turn back into the Goddess that I know I am, as to which one, I can't remember, but I'm sure I have two eyes, clean hair and clothes, shaved legs, and an appetite for ambrosia instead of sheep guts.


I think, if I were to be able to live as the beginning quote says, I'd have to wake up an hour earlier, take care of all the reviving at that time, go back to bed and then wake up once more on the right side of the bed. It's hard to do something on purpose unless you've had some time and and a great deal of premeditation. "Okay, I'm waking up right now, this is my choice, that alarm clock is just a gentle encouragement and I will conquer! Anyway, it was my plan all night to destroy that alarm clock this morning."


Rebecca said...

I have a good book for you to read. I am almost done with it. I think of you when I want to share a good book. It is the Mysterious Benedict Society. Check it out!
I am glad that you enjoyed the Gregor books. Did you read the Fablehaven ones?
I guess I should have emailed this so you could send a reply. sorry!

Jordan and Elaine's Family said...

The alarm clock has definitely become my dreaded enemy this year. PM kindergarden rocked! But now, I am just another fool who is a slave to the alarm clock monday through Friday, Oh, and Sunday too.

Jayne said...

My older two decided to wake up at 5AM today and since Maren's crib is in their room as well their cries of 'No, I don't want to go back to sleep' woke her up as well.
All in all, my head is pounding this morning. At least I can enjoy 2 more weeks of Dan around in the morning to feed the kids and drive Hannah to school. Once we're in so-Cal he'll be leaving before the sun rises in order to avoid traffic. I soooo dread early school mornings especially once the kids are old enough for seminary.

Brenny said...

You crack me up. Awesome post. I hope the alarm clock survived.

Mommy Of 2 said...

I so hate to get up in the morning when it is dark and cold outside, it is torture and then If I don't want to get up I know my 6 year old wont! Great post! Hope your day was good:) Think of Edward, it will bring a smile to your face:))))

Melisa said...

I love your posts. You crack me up. My alarm clock lives in fear of me. LOL!

Is it just me or does this sound like some kind of food?


Melisa said...

Too funny! The next verification word is


Love it!

The Fraker's Acres said...

I don't think beating my three "alarm clocks" would adhere to "loving thy neighbor," seeing as they are the person I married and the two I gave birth to! Josh gets home from work at 6:30 am and the kids have "daddy radar", which prevents them from sleeping past 7:30. My electrical alarm clock has had a charmed life: eating crumpets while enjoying free dust removal. Things never stay the same, as we know, and one day the kids will ride the big yellow transporter and my alarm clock will fear me, but until then, beat your clock a few times for me!:)

Steve and Claudia said...

I am still looking for the quarter slot on computer, for the joy of getting to browse your daily details. Your publisher is 'BLOG'? What kind of company is THAT? Upgrade, girl! You MUST know that you are speaking for the masses in your entries; but doing so with a far greater English command and detail flair escaping the rest of us. Thanks for the fun! I simply must refer your blog site to my college English-teaching sister. You both have a kindred, engaging writing style and voice that is priceless. Bravo!!

Natalie said...

Dear Diana/Helen/Aphrodite/Artemis,
I agree 100% with the writer of the previous comment (either Steve or Claudia). Your blog is the best reading material available and I look forward to every single post. Mornings are so awful for now have me dreading the school-driven routine more than ever! I never know how to balance the joy I feel with being ready for the day before everyone else awakens, or the joy I feel from sleeping that extra hour. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

Merry Christmas!

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