9 Tripping Shoes

On the 9th day of Christmas my true loves gave to me, 9 strategically placed shoes to trip on.

castle moat

They must have had a strategy in the placement of said shoes because I tripped on almost every one of them. It doesn't help that the family shoe depository is near the entrance to the hallway. I don't know why they would want to trip their dear mother, so I can only attribute it to part of the creation of an imaginary castle where I'm the ogress trying to overstep the moat only to be thwarted by pointy rubber teeth and leathery black tongues, some with entwining cotton tendrils designed to strangle unsuspecting bare toes. I also don't know what these shoes might be protecting but I can only imagine something of a most valuable nature, chocolate, a Light Saber armory, Princess Leia, or "the last melon." Whatever it was, I was not meant to pass and see, and have suffered several popped toe joints and a reminder that gravity is still a powerful force in nature.

Comments

Brenny said…
Days 7, 8, and 9 are hilarious. Except for you tripping over the shoes. I mean, it's funny, but I feel your pain. If only I had children to blame the placement of discarded shoes...

And the Amish hat was MADE IN CHINA? That's crazy! I'm stunned. Are the Amish farming out their work? How do they contact China to put in an order? I mean, I thought they didn't use phones, or electricity. Mail order?
Natalie said…
Wonderful "trips" like you've described are events that cause me to curse; so I'm glad that you can bite your tongue better than I can. I hope your poor toes are alright; stubbing/tripping and pooping/bonking my toes leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach and can't even imagine the nausea I'd feel after tripping on nine shoes. I also love that you used the word "ogress"; I'd never heard that before (it perfectly describes how I feel after I trip on my kids' stuff all over the house!).

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