Golfing with Gas

Dr. Minivan (see link for the Dr.)managed to squeeze through our front door and pay us a therapeutic visit at our dinner table tonight. The session started with Reed asking if "Barak-a Obama" was going to be the next president. We, his parents, expressed our hope that he wouldn't. Reed then told us that next year he was going to vote for Tiger Woods. Chris and I both thought he would be a better candidate. At least the future president's trips to Camp David would be more interesting and hopefully televised on the newly landscaped backyard with better sand traps and greens. We then asked the boys if they knew who the other guy running for president was. Thankfully they did even with the extremely biased media coverage.

As an aside to our conversation, or at least in between breaths, Douglas told us that he knew how to take his head off. We tried to act surprised when his head slipped inside of his shirt in an amazing disappearing act. Wow. Dr. Minivan approved of our enthusiastic support of our son, even if it was somewhat forced.

To Dr. Minivan's shock, he heard Isaac, who had left the table after his one and only bite of dinner, ranting in the living room in various tongues. Not so much in French, but the more innocent variations or dialects expressed by three year olds with too much exposure to 8 year olds in Michigan parks. We told the Dr. that we are working on the bad words but get confused with what approach to take. Overreaction gets him to say it more (in between giggles). Trying to ignore it gets him to say it louder until we have to react. Putting him in his room isn't a punishment anymore for some reason. In fact he's even started putting himself on timeouts in his room. The Dr. didn't have any ideas, so if any of you in Blogland have any suggestions, please share.

After everyone ate their quota of at least one bite of pizza and one cucumber slice (and the Dr. his lick of corn oil), all the patients started looking for things to play with and new things, like jets, to talk about. As a final thought, Douglas told us "I know who all the presidents vote for, they vote for themselves."

I wonder if the candidates know to do that, especially the one who has never voted on anything important, never done anything of note during his nearly-eternal 4 year service in the senate, never answered a question, has visited all "58" states, has admitted he's smoked marijuana, doesn't want his daughters "punished with a baby" for promiscuity, was utterly shocked after 20 years of church attendance when he learned his pastor was a racist, and is an absolute idiot (sorry, Isaac's French is wearing off on me)? Well, Dr. Minivan is concerned that I have such strong opinions, that my kids don't eat, that one of my sons may have Tourette Syndrome, that my children are so active in politics and golf at the age of 6, and that all I could find to feed him was corn oil. I'm not sure when we'll meet again, but I have the feeling we'll keep these sessions confined to the van and we'll most likely take a trip to the gas station for some good ol' 89 octane, maybe the kind with Techron, mmmm...