Thursday, August 21, 2008

Golfing with Gas

Dr. Minivan (see link for the Dr.)managed to squeeze through our front door and pay us a therapeutic visit at our dinner table tonight. The session started with Reed asking if "Barak-a Obama" was going to be the next president. We, his parents, expressed our hope that he wouldn't. Reed then told us that next year he was going to vote for Tiger Woods. Chris and I both thought he would be a better candidate. At least the future president's trips to Camp David would be more interesting and hopefully televised on the newly landscaped backyard with better sand traps and greens. We then asked the boys if they knew who the other guy running for president was. Thankfully they did even with the extremely biased media coverage.

Golfing Nixon Golf with Tiger

As an aside to our conversation, or at least in between breaths, Douglas told us that he knew how to take his head off. We tried to act surprised when his head slipped inside of his shirt in an amazing disappearing act. Wow. Dr. Minivan approved of our enthusiastic support of our son, even if it was somewhat forced.

To Dr. Minivan's shock, he heard Isaac, who had left the table after his one and only bite of dinner, ranting in the living room in various tongues. Not so much in French, but the more innocent variations or dialects expressed by three year olds with too much exposure to 8 year olds in Michigan parks. We told the Dr. that we are working on the bad words but get confused with what approach to take. Overreaction gets him to say it more (in between giggles). Trying to ignore it gets him to say it louder until we have to react. Putting him in his room isn't a punishment anymore for some reason. In fact he's even started putting himself on timeouts in his room. The Dr. didn't have any ideas, so if any of you in Blogland have any suggestions, please share.


After everyone ate their quota of at least one bite of pizza and one cucumber slice (and the Dr. his lick of corn oil), all the patients started looking for things to play with and new things, like jets, to talk about. As a final thought, Douglas told us "I know who all the presidents vote for, they vote for themselves."


I wonder if the candidates know to do that, especially the one who has never voted on anything important, never done anything of note during his nearly-eternal 4 year service in the senate, never answered a question, has visited all "58" states, has admitted he's smoked marijuana, doesn't want his daughters "punished with a baby" for promiscuity, was utterly shocked after 20 years of church attendance when he learned his pastor was a racist, and is an absolute idiot (sorry, Isaac's French is wearing off on me)? Well, Dr. Minivan is concerned that I have such strong opinions, that my kids don't eat, that one of my sons may have Tourette Syndrome, that my children are so active in politics and golf at the age of 6, and that all I could find to feed him was corn oil. I'm not sure when we'll meet again, but I have the feeling we'll keep these sessions confined to the van and we'll most likely take a trip to the gas station for some good ol' 89 octane, maybe the kind with Techron, mmmm...



The Hoyal Family said...

Dr. Minivan - what a great name!
Six year olds can be really very insightful when it comes to politics!

Brynn said...

I think their insight in politics comes from listening to you and Chris...And, it is too bad, but, I'm almost 50% sure that Barack-a is going to be the next president. I mean, if Scarlet Johansen and OPRAH WINFREY for the love, is voting for him, then, isn't the rest of the country going to follow suit? How's the job search going? ;)

Natalie said...

Ha ha kill me! We have the same Tourette's problem here, so let me know if you come up with a good solution. I love the observations that Reed and Douglas make, and I totally agree with you on the political front. Maybe we should write in Tiger Woods on the ballot, since although I can't stand Baraka (that's what Amber calls him, too), I don't forsee McCain being that much better before he has a massive coronary and keels over dead (pray for Mitt Romney as VP!). I went to Target yesterday and was so depressed when I didn't see you. :)

Sean and Jeannette said...

Yessssssss (said like Napoleon Dynamite.) Dr. Minivan is back!! "Dr. Minivan 101.7 FM, hello caller, how can I help you?" :) Anyway, you know how I feel about the political circus going on these days, so I don't need to go into that one. My neighbor, who is 83 years old, summed it up quite nicely the other day when I went to bring her some zucchini bread. She said, "In all of my years, I've never been as disappointed about voting as I am this year. You mean to tell me, that with all of the people out there, these two are the most qualified?!?!" Amen sista'. I'm not feeling either of them, but if I have to go with one person, it would be McCain, because of what Natalie said:) And plus, hello! Pro-LIFE!! We anticipate finding out who they pick as their VP's. I MISS YOUUUU!

-Ang said...

Becky, you are hilarious! Reading your personality through your blog makes me miss you!
-Angela Groke

Melisa said...

Your kids are so funny! It must be genetic. :)

Shannon Coker said...

Becky! I hope you don't mind, I found you through Julie Moore's blog. I miss your smile and the interesting things the boys come up with! Reading their thoughts in this blog post made me smile and miss them more.

kimhumpherys said...

as for the bad words..we did tobasco sauce on the tongue. it really wasn't bad, but the kids thought it was horrible punishment..told them i was burning the bad words out of them..he, worked well though, unless of course your kids love hot, hot sauce! becky, seriously, you make me laugh hard! sorry my blog is so dull compared to yours!

Raela said...


I'm so glad you commented on my blog. I found your amazing blog a week or two ago and didn't have time to comment on it, but I did add it to my friend list. :)

I LOVE Dr. Minivan! Very captivating. :) Your Boys are all grown up & soooo handsome & not to mention very intelligent!

Austin is our little guy... almost a year old. Maddie is Grant's little gal. I know my post wasn't clear. I actually updated it in the middle of printing wedding invitations & business cards. I'll blame that for my lack of creative writing skills. You, on the other hand, are simply awe inspiring. I couldn't stop reading!!!

Thanks for being your wonderful self. Let's keep in touch!

Love ya,

Merry Christmas!

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