Mommy, what killed the dinosaurs?

This morning after my walk in the liquid air that surrounds our dry fish bowl, I was not feeling very good at all. I was achy all over and I didn't even exert myself all that much, "baby steps" around the block. Because I don't take illnesses gracefully, I complained. The thing is, I rarely get sick and the majority of my "sickness" only happens once a month, and a hefty dose of Motrin saves the day (well that, a diet coke and chocolate). Reed, upon hearing me complain, tried to empathize and told me "I think I'm going extinct." Well, maybe that's what's happening to me. Reed has a very impressive vocabulary and his usage is usually pretty close. In this case, he nailed the word right on the head.

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Reed slowly going extinct.

The global conditions that are causing our extinction today include: an increase in humidity, a substance that the Russians call "Pookh" (some white tree stuff that's been flying around giving the appearance of snow and making me sneeze my head off), the fact that the sun keeps rising so early in the morning interrupting my sleep, Isaac's screams, Douglas' eternal list of unanswerable questions, and the secret invisible mind-melting laser beams that quietly shoot out of my computer and into my brain while I type. I'm sure these conditions are ploys all set up by some top secret environmental organization set on decreasing the population and handing earth back over to amoebas. Some people have actually been tainted by exposure to the movie "Soylent Green" and believe that man will eventually be turned into food if we keep repopulating the planet. So, whichever of these things cause my extinction I'd like you all to know that my favorite flowers are currently roses, I want a coffin made of chocolate, and be sure that there is no "pookh" locked in there with me. You can also put a cold diet coke, preferably fountain, in my hand and be sure to bury me under my bed and check on me later to make sure I'm really extinct.

(No, I'm not on drugs, well just one, but it's helping with the achiness).

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Douglas asking "how big is the biggest Chihuahua?"

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Isaac being a cheezer for the camera, as usual.


Natalie said…
Yet again, I can have a better day for reading your acutely accurate and hilarious posts. It was fun to see you at Target and I'm sorry you're going extinct. I think the poooch might send me in that direction, too. Hang in there!
jakeandlacey said…
Haha! Jake and I have been married for just six months but he's full aware that I need chocolate and a coke to keep me going too. (sometimes diet :)) Holy Smokes those boys are HUGE! I can't believe it. I'm way excited to see you guys! How goes selling the place? Good luck!
Melisa said…
I hope you feel better soon! You looked so cute at church today!

I am so tired of the cottonwood snow blowing around here! Ugh. I should take a picture, but we have a fan, in our window. The white puffs have engrained themselves into the screen in the shape of the fan. Yipes!
Sorensens said…
I love your post, they make my day all the time.

I hope you will be felling better soon.

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