Please Lando, tell me about your mother.
Warning: If you do not wish to know the random workings of this bloggers mind, do not read. There are somethings one has to get off of one's chest, or out of one's brain.
I had the weirdest dream last night. I'm one of those people who shouldn't watch anything on TV too close to bed time. Last night we watched Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back. It's been several years since I've seen this one and it was almost suspenseful. After all that time it was still disgusting when Han Solo sliced open the Tauntaun (that beast they ride on the ice planet, Hoth), and then put Luke in it to keep him warm. Couldn't there have been some other way?
The reason that Luke needed rescuing at all is that he ran into a sort of abominable snowman called a Wampa. The Wampa almost finishes him off but is foiled when Luke light sabers his arm off. Anyway, later on in the movie, Lando Calrissian, Han's supposed friend, seems to be working with Darth Vadar (about this time I was in and out of the room and not paying close attention) and allows Han Solo to be frozen in carbonite.
Well, I went to bed last night thinking of Lando as a traitor. My dream was a continuation of the movie. Lando turns out to be the Wampa that almost killed Luke. He transforms from Lando to the Wampa when he's ready to attack. While transforming he becomes somewhat vulnerable. It is discovered that if you pull out his tongue while he's transforming, which is the texture of a gummy worm and very stretchy, you can kill him. So Han ends up pulling out the tongue, but not without losing his nose which the Wampa breaks off in the end. I’m guessing it was already brittle because of the carbonite freezing. Somehow, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy were in the dream too, but we’ll leave it at that.
I'm debating whether to send this log to Lucas and Spielberg as a suggestion for a Special Special Edition for Star Wars Empire Strikes Back. Or do the sane thing and pass it strait on to Mr. Freud. What would Lando's mother do?