Resolutely Resolved Resolutions

“It’s best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.”

1.  To regularly feed my children healthier foods than I do now.  This morning when Isaac came into my room, we asked him if he was ready for some breakfast.  He responded by saying, “no, I want fake breakfast.”  So we asked him what a fake breakfast was, thinking something magical from the colorful world of Imagination, but he said that “fake breakfast” was treats.  Ah…I see.  When I say he needs “real food” before he can have a snack this is where the logic eventually flows.

2.  To excavate the muscle on the back of my upper arm that the experts believe really lies beneath the sub-cellulite layers.  I found the box that holds my 3 pound weights and almost pulled a muscle hefting it down from the shelf.  Obviously, I have muscles somewhere if I think they can be pulled.  But, they could be imaginary or “fake muscles” too.  Anyway, when Chris walked into the room to see me doing bicep curls with my butter yellow 3 pound weights I had to insist that he not laugh and he didn’t.  Though, I do wonder if he has a skill for the kind of exuberant laughter that stays on the inside.  I’m sure if that’s so, his inner laughter source is about ready to pee it’s pants.

3.  Read a non-fiction or philosophical book that would make me look smart, or perhaps brilliant if paired with the right shape of dark rimmed glasses, if I were to be seen reading and drinking hot chocolate in a coffee shop.  I might need to buy a faux collection of thrift store clothing, grow out my eyebrows and upper lip hair, and allow a few locks of hair to dread-up, but I’m sure there are crowds that would think I was definitely the leader of a “herd of independent minds.”

4.  To get over my phobia of looking up my bank account.  There are solutions but I have a phobia of them too.  Once I type in all of the info and right before the nasty truths appear, I have to stop myself from closing my eyes out of fear.  I’m sure I make funny faces, sort of like the kind you’d make right before the beautician rips off the wax that removes the upper lip hair.

5.  Oh…there are many more and I will have to take a serious moment with my journal to write down the ones of greatest importance.  Oh yeah, start writing in my journal, that’s one too.  Happy New Year and good luck to all who are going to strive for better things and a better way of living this wonderful life that God has given us.