Sanity Wipes

How is a person to enforce good manners when bad manners are so funny? The boys were just laughing and making a song about wedgies to the tune of Old MacDonald. Instead of a "moo-moo- here and a moo-moo there", the words were "and a Stinker Sound Made With Mouth Sounds here (SSMWMS - not to be mistaken with WMD's)) and an SSMWMS there…" I made the mistake of saying, "Please don't talk about that, it's not very funny" and then they started laughing. I'm obviously wrong, it must be pretty funny or they wouldn't be laughing. Maybe the That-isn't-very-funny clause should be taken out of the Teaching Manners guide (which I didn't get, I'm just going on memory). Really, some of the gross things boys think are funny really can be funny.

This is Kermit the Frog interviewing Old MacDonald concerning the new lyrics to his famous tune.  He does not look happy, nor is he laughing.  See, I was right, it wasn't funny!

We went to the temple in Detroit today and took the boys who would be watched by some nice people in the ward while we attended a session. We of course were running late and had to stop at our local McDonald's for breakfast. Unfortunately, I am known at this McDonald's and the "order lady" and I know each other's first names. It really helps that we are both named Becky. She asked what we were doing today and in order not to have to explain in 30 seconds what going to the temple is, I said we were going to a "church thing." Well, we did our church thing, came home to super hot humid weather and sent the boys from the car straight to the sprinklers.

After an hour of sprinkler and inflatable pool time, the boys were ready to come in. Isaac knew he was ready for a diaper change (the kid is afraid of sitting on the toilet, help.), but to our dismay he was past ready and with Chris carrying his arms and me carrying his feet to avoid spilling the diaper contents, we hauled him up for a bath. A parent such as myself cannot do this in a quiet accepting manner. My voice must express what my nose cannot. Somehow it makes it better to weep and wail while trying one's best to not be touched by the multi colored ickiness found in and out of his diaper. Well, we survived and after three "out [darned] spot" hand washings, the smell has almost dissipated. 

Lady McBeth's preferred hand soap

"Guilt be Gone"

The cleansing of Isaac brings us back to the new rendition of "Old Macdonald" performed by the Williams Brothers, live in the room next door. For enduring these experiences and many more like it to come I've been blessed with an understanding of "boy humor" and a large supply of anti-bacterial sanitary (and sanity) wipes.